jeeper31

Too much chance car will come down on roof... although if you are looking to do the convertible mod....

jmporsche944

roflmfao

Blue S2

Hmm...I have another idea!

Using Quantum-extraplanetary-Silicony-jiggly-super Mathematics that I learned from a book I ordered through a 3am informercial... I have calculated the following:

The Porsche 944 is a motion generator of 50/50 weight distribution divided evenly in a perfect world amongst its outermost ends.

Applying the concept of dual polarity and good stuff happens twice, we can assume that rolling a 944 in a cartwheel motion along its ends would sufficiently enduce your desired outcome. The more rolls in a given space, the more snubbing you will see in result.

Since a garage may have limited space, we must not rely on the cartwheel and instead find a refreshing mango popcicle. While enjoying this frozen treat, engaging the reverse gear and stepping hard on the gas will significantly create a greater distance between your car and the wall while also snubbing the rear on object that manifested itself somehow from the rear-view. (Good things happen twice.)

Upon the car coming to a halt, engaging the first gear and once again applying a firm stomp on the gas will give a great forward thrust to your vehicle. If done at the exact moment of requiring an opposite reaction from the previous rearview object, the car will have the perfect forward momentum required to snub the front as well! It will now be locked in a permanent snubbed state.

You will have a dually snubbed bumpers, an a bare popscicle stick! As a byproduct, the weight of the car will be moved closer to the center. You will now have increased handling similar to that of a midengine car that we all dream of.

*Disclaimer* This is not legal advice, nor scientifically proven in the United States or abroad. I take no responsibility for actions that may result from using the above knowledge. It has been stated here purely for educational purposes only. If anyone chooses to recreate this situation, please post pics! And last but not least...Mango popcicles are freaknin' AWESOME! *End Disclaimer*

inactiveuser92616

from my recent experience, if you want your bumper shock to become permanently compressed, have a neighbor with ford explorer slam their vehicle into reverse whilst parked in front of you. Also does a nice aero mod for license plate.

chitown928s4

Ok here's the real reason. You didnt make a hole in the shocks to let the oil out from inside the shocks. Dunno what these guys are talking bout

jeeper31

I did the rear bumper implosion mod. I had a 19 year old girl (gorgeous) rear end me in her BMW. Best mod I ever did.

Tom M'Guinn

I think it depends on the type of shed. Maybe you sould consider reinforcing one of the shed walls. I think www.clarks-garage.com has a section on this.

mavfan

wtf u gotta be kidding me...haha this is so surreal... i think it would be a very wise decision to follow chitown944's instructions, rather than ramming your PORSCHE INTO A WALL!

jmporsche944

Did she pay you back in sexual favors?

mavfan

no, she just wrote him a check for the damage... J/K OF COURSE SHE GAVE HIM A BJ!

White Pony

A sawzall, duct tape, pop bottles, cereal boxes, fiberglass resin and a little Bondo and you can have a slick custom.

jeeper31

Unfortunately no but you know that's what i was thinking as we were exchanging information AND when she came to my house in a terry cloth dress with her mom to see the damage AND when i went to her house to pick up the money .

Blue S2

HAHAHAHA this thread has just gotten over the top silly!

All the answer lie in a couple posts in the archives! A few people have written this up. I think it looks kinda cool.

Matt H

Your car is trying to tell you something...dont perform this hideous "mod" on me!!!

However, chitown is right, you didnt drill them so the oil could escape.
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Jfrahm

Yeah there are better choices than the "I rearended someone and cannot afford to fix my car" look.

Remember the old "Sleepy Look" i.e. "My pop-up headlamps are not working properly" look?

My advice: Mock; don't imitate.
-Joel.