A Porsche Christmas Story
12-17-2005 | 01:16 PM
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The Hoffinator
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Rennlist Member
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 7,644
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From: Columbus, OH
A Porsche Christmas Story
here is somthing that has been posted on the 912bbs in the last few years, (i guess the 356 registry posts this every year on their website), that i thought everyone might enjoy. (and im sure all of us can relate in one way or another!)
_______________
Twas the night before Christmas and the Porsche was dead
Should I work on the car, or go straight to bed?
Everything was connected, in proper place
What was I missing? My steps I'll retrace.
The wires were nestled all snug on their plugs,
Just waiting to fire, new pistons and jugs
And Mamma in bed, and I in the shop,
I twisted the key, a sputter, a pop
When from the back end, there arose such a clatter,
I banged my head, then my lip got fatter
Away to the engine, I flew like a flash
Tore open the lid, and burnt my moustache!
I grabbed the extinguisher, just in time
And stood there in awe, like a motionless mime
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
A gas leak, and tin work, and decals that seared
With a little old screwdriver, so lively and quick
I tightened the clamp, What a DIPSTICK!
More rapid than eagles my curses they came
Oh I was pissed, but I was to blame
"You, IDIOT! You, FOOL! You're STUPID and a BUM!
You're PATHETIC! You're a HACK! You're a TURKEY and DUMB!"
Back to the cockpit! A twist of the switch!
Now crank away! Crank away! Crank away bitch!
As gas started gass'n and sparks started spark'n
They both came together; the exhaust started bark'n
So up on the tach, the RPM's flew
I'm going for a drive, beyond my curfew.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard from the house
The pissing and moaning, of my strict little spouse
As I backed out the door, and was turning around
Across the driveway she came, with jacket and hound
She was dressed and prepped, to go for a ride
How could I fault her, we all got inside
We motored with snow, billowing over the roof
Too bad this tub, isn't rustproof!
Her lights-- how they twinkled! Her handling how merry!
Her temperature was rising, I was smitten by Ferry!
His cool little car, ripped down the road
Hope we make it back home, without getting towed
I was excited and nervous, white knuckled the wheel
A friendship was forming, like B.B. and Lucille.
My smile grew bigger, from ear to ear
As I threw in the clutch, and shifted the gear
We slid and dog tracked around every turn
I redlined and redlined with little concern
The smooth power curve, of the Maestro cam
Guidance and books; I'm happy as a clam
I continued to drive, through the downtown
Past carolers and skaters, without a letdown
And easing my shoe, into the throttle
We headed home, with no further doddle
As we pulled out of town, a sweet buzz and whistle,
Escaped from the bursch, like a lethal scud missile
And the list members heard, as I roared out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a Good-Night"
_______________
Twas the night before Christmas and the Porsche was dead
Should I work on the car, or go straight to bed?
Everything was connected, in proper place
What was I missing? My steps I'll retrace.
The wires were nestled all snug on their plugs,
Just waiting to fire, new pistons and jugs
And Mamma in bed, and I in the shop,
I twisted the key, a sputter, a pop
When from the back end, there arose such a clatter,
I banged my head, then my lip got fatter
Away to the engine, I flew like a flash
Tore open the lid, and burnt my moustache!
I grabbed the extinguisher, just in time
And stood there in awe, like a motionless mime
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
A gas leak, and tin work, and decals that seared
With a little old screwdriver, so lively and quick
I tightened the clamp, What a DIPSTICK!
More rapid than eagles my curses they came
Oh I was pissed, but I was to blame
"You, IDIOT! You, FOOL! You're STUPID and a BUM!
You're PATHETIC! You're a HACK! You're a TURKEY and DUMB!"
Back to the cockpit! A twist of the switch!
Now crank away! Crank away! Crank away bitch!
As gas started gass'n and sparks started spark'n
They both came together; the exhaust started bark'n
So up on the tach, the RPM's flew
I'm going for a drive, beyond my curfew.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard from the house
The pissing and moaning, of my strict little spouse
As I backed out the door, and was turning around
Across the driveway she came, with jacket and hound
She was dressed and prepped, to go for a ride
How could I fault her, we all got inside
We motored with snow, billowing over the roof
Too bad this tub, isn't rustproof!
Her lights-- how they twinkled! Her handling how merry!
Her temperature was rising, I was smitten by Ferry!
His cool little car, ripped down the road
Hope we make it back home, without getting towed
I was excited and nervous, white knuckled the wheel
A friendship was forming, like B.B. and Lucille.
My smile grew bigger, from ear to ear
As I threw in the clutch, and shifted the gear
We slid and dog tracked around every turn
I redlined and redlined with little concern
The smooth power curve, of the Maestro cam
Guidance and books; I'm happy as a clam
I continued to drive, through the downtown
Past carolers and skaters, without a letdown
And easing my shoe, into the throttle
We headed home, with no further doddle
As we pulled out of town, a sweet buzz and whistle,
Escaped from the bursch, like a lethal scud missile
And the list members heard, as I roared out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a Good-Night"
