Veloce Raptor

Jeff Gordon announced today that he was firing his entire pit crew. This announcement followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of a government plan to employ disadvantaged inner-city youngsters.

The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed inner-city youths were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with thousands of dollars' worth of high tech equipment.

It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team, as many races are won or lost in the pits.

However, Gordon got more than he bargained for. At the crew's' first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 9 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to Dale Earnhardt Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff's wife in the shower.

GuyIncognito

If I had pics of Gordon's wife in the shower I'd finish in 9 seconds too

Vonschmidt

Now that's obamanomics at its finest.

Veloce Raptor

LMAO! i know you'd give her the very best 12 seconds of her life!

Gary R.

Sorry, I couldn't get to my stopwatch in time to hit start....

Chaos

Best12 seconds of HIS life!

CCA

But not so for her!

Land Jet

Best NASCAR joke I ever heard was Danika Patrick saying she was going to compete for the championship.

tedean

OMG, it is sad when I get up early just to catch the morning humor on rennlist. Like when I was a kid and couldn't wait to start the day with morning cartoons.

Veloce Raptor

Oh, Larry...there you go again.

The critics all agree:

ltc

She is doing so, I saw it on TV

Qualified on pole for Daytona ... All driver

Qualified 40th out of 43 at Phoenix ... Clearly the team let her down
Crashed out with blown tire ... Clearly Goodyear and the Grassy Knoll

Plenty of racing left for her to make it into the Chase for the Championship. Even if she doesn't NASCAR will come with some rule change to allow her in.

Land Jet

And if they don't, at least the media will make it look like she is the premier driver in NASCAR anyway.

VR, demeaning me doesn't change the facts about Danika's winning percentage during her professional career. Have at it if it makes you feel like a better man.

Veloce Raptor

That right there is pretty funny stuff.

ltc

NASCAR would love Danica to be the "face of NASCAR".
It it/was Junior, but there needs to be someone next.
From a marketing/business perspective, she is perfect.
From a performance/results perspective, she is anything but.

Remember, this is the "sanctioning body" that changed the series format after Matt Kenseth won a Cup Championship in a boring/consistent manner (one win IIRC).

They have no regard of motorsport, they are an entertainment business.

GuyIncognito

yep.

and now they control sports car racing in this country too...