F1, The Teammate wars
06-01-2007, 02:29 AM
#1
Formula One Spin Doctor
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F1, The Teammate wars
On the streets of the tax-dodger's haven, Fisi, Felipe, Alex and Jarno all delivered crushing blows on their team-mates...
Renault
Season: Fisichella 4 Kovalainen 1
Race: Fisi
Fisi's always been good round Monaco and so it proved on Sunday. But last year he was 6th while Fernando won. You kind of wonder how the team would have done if there had been a faster driver than Fisichella in the team. As the entire world saw Kovalainen's race was hampered by David Coulthard's team failing to identify what kind of lap Heiki was on. This is inexcusable considering anybody with a PC around the world could have logged on to F1.com and watched his sector times. However it happens every race to several drivers, the inequality of it is that DC got punished when there are normally three or four culprits.
Kovalainen can expect more pain in Canada because Fisi is at his best in Montreal.
Ferrari
Raikkonen 2 Massa 3
Race: Felipe
Hardly a tough choice. Raikonen is unlikely to make the same mistake again in the whole of his F1 career, but it wasn't a good time to make it. Massa tonked hi,m but he also did extraordinarily well in qualifying. He was oh so close to taking P2 off Hamilton and then there would have been some fireworks (till the first pit-stop anyway).
He was an easy P3.
McLaren
Alonso 2 Hamilton 3
Race: Lewis
Now this might be a tad controversial but we've given it to Lewis. Not because he's a Brit, but because he was baulked on his qualifying lap when he was doing an immense job. Even with FIVE laps more fuel than Alonso he got a Sector 1 time of 19.7 - with Alonso doing a 19.9. Had Mark Webber seen him coming and got out of the way quicker then Hamilton would have wrapped up an easy pole and the race would have been his.
It augers well for future races, though if McLaren can keep Ferrari in sight at Indy and Montreal they'll be doing well.|
BMW
Kubica 2 Heidfeld 3
Race: Nick
Heidfeld was given a bum strategy by the BMW team, and despite being heavier than Rosberg nailed him into the first turn. Team-mate Kubica went backwards to P9 and was fortunate to gain places the way he did.
Honda
Barrichello 5 Button 0
Race: Rubens
Yet again the Honda boys were virtually indistinguishable in pace, but yet again Rubens had the edge.
Toyota
Schumacher 1 Trulli 4
Race: Jarno
Hard to believe Ralf and Jarno are having a worse season than Rubens and Jenson, but yes it's true. Ralf looks particularly uninspired, though both he and Jarno's qualifying form isn't helped by always going out right at the beginning of each session. As usual they qualified a long way apart and Trulli moved back while Ralf moved forward (though not by much).
Red Bull
Webber 3 Coulthard 2
Race: Mark
DC's team ruined his weekend for him. And come to think of it, Webbo's engineers ruined his weekend for him. In an F1 series where reliability is creeping ever closer towards 100%, Red Bull are keeping the spirit of the 70s alive. Mark gets this one as he was ahead before his seamless shift gearbox became an aimless shift gearbox.
Rosberg 3 Wurz 2
Race: Alex
Wurz picked up places at the start while Rosberg lost them. Though Wurz had the better strategy and didn't encounter problems like Rosberg he kept pressing and picked up points. Which he needed.
Toro Rosso
Speed 3 Liuzzi 2
Race: Scott
With Tonio scraping his car down the Armco at Massanet it was important for Scott Speed to do something for the team - and he almost delivered..
Spyker
Albers 3 Sutil 2
Race: Adrian
Sutil achieved something Albers is unlikely to and that's lead at the end of a practice session - and a wet Monaco is one hell of a wet session to get the fastest time for. In one leap Sutil has jumped from being a pay-driver to someone with potential.
Super Aguri
Sato 3 Davidson 2
Race: Ant
Ant finally outqualified Taku, but was so keen to pass Jarno Trulli that he rather forgot there might be cars behind him in the proper race. Muppet. And he's the size of one, too.
Star of the Race
Hamilton 2
Heidfeld 1
Massa 1
Alonso 1
Overtaking Move of the Race
Rosberg 1
Wurz 1
Heidfeld 1
The Golden **** award
Melbourne: The Toyota pitcrew have to receive the award for sending Jarno Trulli out on a qualifying lap with the rear jack stuck under the back of his car.
Sepang: Robert Kubica, for driving his BMW into the gravel run-off, then carefully depositing it on the track at the exit of the corner.
Bahrain: Red Bull/Renault pit radios
SpainThe BMW pitcrew's fabulous attempt to get a front wheel changed on Nick Heidfeld's car was the highlight of the Spanish GP. The fact it was zose ruthlessly efficient Germans responsible made it all the funnier. Nick was sent back out despite a delay and despite the kindly neighbouring Toyota mechanic waving his wheelnut to attract attention. It was one of those glorious reasons why we all watch live sport. At that point in time 200 million people worldwide knew what was going to happen next and the BMW pitcrew had no idea.
Monaco Kimi Raikkonen. It's traditional to turn in to the exit of the swimming pool when the road appears, not when there's still a load of Armco to your right. Not even the most inept pay-to-drive rookie has made that mistake. The fact that he left his car in Michael Schumacher's official parking space made it doubly embarrassing.
Driver Most Likely To Be Replaced Before The End Of The Season
(last race in brackets)
1. Ralf Schumacher (New entry)
2. Adrian Sutil (1)
3. Heiki Kovalainen (4)
4. David Coulthard (2)
5. Alex Wurz (3)
Renault
Season: Fisichella 4 Kovalainen 1
Race: Fisi
Fisi's always been good round Monaco and so it proved on Sunday. But last year he was 6th while Fernando won. You kind of wonder how the team would have done if there had been a faster driver than Fisichella in the team. As the entire world saw Kovalainen's race was hampered by David Coulthard's team failing to identify what kind of lap Heiki was on. This is inexcusable considering anybody with a PC around the world could have logged on to F1.com and watched his sector times. However it happens every race to several drivers, the inequality of it is that DC got punished when there are normally three or four culprits.
Kovalainen can expect more pain in Canada because Fisi is at his best in Montreal.
Ferrari
Raikkonen 2 Massa 3
Race: Felipe
Hardly a tough choice. Raikonen is unlikely to make the same mistake again in the whole of his F1 career, but it wasn't a good time to make it. Massa tonked hi,m but he also did extraordinarily well in qualifying. He was oh so close to taking P2 off Hamilton and then there would have been some fireworks (till the first pit-stop anyway).
He was an easy P3.
McLaren
Alonso 2 Hamilton 3
Race: Lewis
Now this might be a tad controversial but we've given it to Lewis. Not because he's a Brit, but because he was baulked on his qualifying lap when he was doing an immense job. Even with FIVE laps more fuel than Alonso he got a Sector 1 time of 19.7 - with Alonso doing a 19.9. Had Mark Webber seen him coming and got out of the way quicker then Hamilton would have wrapped up an easy pole and the race would have been his.
It augers well for future races, though if McLaren can keep Ferrari in sight at Indy and Montreal they'll be doing well.|
BMW
Kubica 2 Heidfeld 3
Race: Nick
Heidfeld was given a bum strategy by the BMW team, and despite being heavier than Rosberg nailed him into the first turn. Team-mate Kubica went backwards to P9 and was fortunate to gain places the way he did.
Honda
Barrichello 5 Button 0
Race: Rubens
Yet again the Honda boys were virtually indistinguishable in pace, but yet again Rubens had the edge.
Toyota
Schumacher 1 Trulli 4
Race: Jarno
Hard to believe Ralf and Jarno are having a worse season than Rubens and Jenson, but yes it's true. Ralf looks particularly uninspired, though both he and Jarno's qualifying form isn't helped by always going out right at the beginning of each session. As usual they qualified a long way apart and Trulli moved back while Ralf moved forward (though not by much).
Red Bull
Webber 3 Coulthard 2
Race: Mark
DC's team ruined his weekend for him. And come to think of it, Webbo's engineers ruined his weekend for him. In an F1 series where reliability is creeping ever closer towards 100%, Red Bull are keeping the spirit of the 70s alive. Mark gets this one as he was ahead before his seamless shift gearbox became an aimless shift gearbox.
Rosberg 3 Wurz 2
Race: Alex
Wurz picked up places at the start while Rosberg lost them. Though Wurz had the better strategy and didn't encounter problems like Rosberg he kept pressing and picked up points. Which he needed.
Toro Rosso
Speed 3 Liuzzi 2
Race: Scott
With Tonio scraping his car down the Armco at Massanet it was important for Scott Speed to do something for the team - and he almost delivered..
Spyker
Albers 3 Sutil 2
Race: Adrian
Sutil achieved something Albers is unlikely to and that's lead at the end of a practice session - and a wet Monaco is one hell of a wet session to get the fastest time for. In one leap Sutil has jumped from being a pay-driver to someone with potential.
Super Aguri
Sato 3 Davidson 2
Race: Ant
Ant finally outqualified Taku, but was so keen to pass Jarno Trulli that he rather forgot there might be cars behind him in the proper race. Muppet. And he's the size of one, too.
Star of the Race
Hamilton 2
Heidfeld 1
Massa 1
Alonso 1
Overtaking Move of the Race
Rosberg 1
Wurz 1
Heidfeld 1
The Golden **** award
Melbourne: The Toyota pitcrew have to receive the award for sending Jarno Trulli out on a qualifying lap with the rear jack stuck under the back of his car.
Sepang: Robert Kubica, for driving his BMW into the gravel run-off, then carefully depositing it on the track at the exit of the corner.
Bahrain: Red Bull/Renault pit radios
SpainThe BMW pitcrew's fabulous attempt to get a front wheel changed on Nick Heidfeld's car was the highlight of the Spanish GP. The fact it was zose ruthlessly efficient Germans responsible made it all the funnier. Nick was sent back out despite a delay and despite the kindly neighbouring Toyota mechanic waving his wheelnut to attract attention. It was one of those glorious reasons why we all watch live sport. At that point in time 200 million people worldwide knew what was going to happen next and the BMW pitcrew had no idea.
Monaco Kimi Raikkonen. It's traditional to turn in to the exit of the swimming pool when the road appears, not when there's still a load of Armco to your right. Not even the most inept pay-to-drive rookie has made that mistake. The fact that he left his car in Michael Schumacher's official parking space made it doubly embarrassing.
Driver Most Likely To Be Replaced Before The End Of The Season
(last race in brackets)
1. Ralf Schumacher (New entry)
2. Adrian Sutil (1)
3. Heiki Kovalainen (4)
4. David Coulthard (2)
5. Alex Wurz (3)
06-01-2007, 10:16 AM
#3
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ROTFLMAO! Keep up the good work!
