Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my questions!
I'll try again tonight. As Forrest Gump says stupid is as stupid does. I fall
into this dilemma more times than I would like to admit!

yes it should just pull apart maybe someone used glue? see if you can find anything squeezing out the sides of the connector

the 14 pin connector is under the hood on the right hand fenderwell sorta next to the top radiator hose,
it simply pulls apart , clean the pins with a pink eraser.

there is also a hot wire thats secured with the hot post this is an 11mm stud be careful with this , disconnect the battery first befor touching it as its hot all the time