Bonster

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Texas. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy' s expense.

The deputy says,' License and registration, please.'

'What for?' says the lawyer.

The deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'

Then the lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'

'You still didn't come to a complete stop, Says the deputy. License and registration, please.'

The lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'

'The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law ?License and registration, please!' the Deputy says.

Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'

'That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir,' the deputy says.

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the daylights out of the lawyer and says, 'Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?'

***Thought you Texas folks might appreciate that one.

Veloce Raptor

Outstanding!

Bull

Toby Pennycuff

There ya go. Thanks Bonnie. For those of us who are native Texans (born and raised in San Antonio), we never tire of those jokes. You may make me dig out my five volumes of the "Texas Dictionary of the English Language" tonight and remember my up-bringin'.

deep_uv

LMAO!

Bonster

No problem, Toby. I understand about the 'dictionary'. I have listened closely to Jeff Foxworthy's 'definitions.' Take, for instance, "widjadidja." In a sentence, it can be used as, "Ya'll didn' bring yer truck widjadidja?"

Toby Pennycuff

From Volume 3 of the aforementioned "Texas Dictionary of the English Language":



Just imagine FIVE VOLUMES of this stuff! It's great!

Toby

Bonster

OMG Toby, I've just GOT to get that!!! Where'd ja git it?

Toby Pennycuff

You have to find them in the used bookstores or you can try the used sections of Amazon or bn.com. The correct title is "The Illustrated Texas Dictionary of the English Language". Five volumes in the set. There are about 8 books total done by the author, Jim Everhart. if I recall correctly, he was an attorney in Fort Worth. He is pictured in each word definition and his expressions and body positions really hit the mark. Check Amazon, I found volumes 1-3 available, but no available listings for volumes 4 and 5. He also did three other send-ups of the way we Texians talk. They are GREAT. And they really hit the mark. I can remember actually hearing most of this stuff as I was growing up in South Texas.

Toby

Bonster

I'm going to have to look into getting those books, Toby. I'm not from Texas, though I do enjoy the features I've seen while traveling through there. The folks are generally very helpful, friendly, and polite, have pride in their country, and smile a LOT more than where I'm originally from (California). We do get folks here in the Florida panhandle that talk quite similar. We've got folks here hailing from Alabama, Tennessee, Texas (don't know WHY those folks moved!), Georgia -- you name it. I don't think Florida has an official accent anymore. It's hard to tell! Ha! My family is from the South originally, so I fit right in. NOBODY has ever guessed I am from California. Just about everywhere else has been guessed, including Texas, but never Cal. The funniest one was some gal that thought I was from New York! Wha??? I don't sound ANYTHING like a New Yorker. Ask Joanne -- we've spoken on the phone. Depending on how tired I am or how much I may have drunk in a given evening, my accent can come on THICK at times. Lol.

Anyway . . . I really love that series of books you mentioned. Sounds like hours of entertainment and a good book for the coffee table when I host tech days at our house. Can you post some more scannings?

Toby Pennycuff

Will do.

TBP

Veloce Raptor

Papers.

Those spicy things you put on nachos.

Bonster

^^^Lol.^^^