Bonster

Have you all seen this joke yet?

Fourth Marriage

A woman, married three times, walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

"Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color are you looking for?"

The bride to be said: "A long frilly white dress with a veil."

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time - for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?"

"Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first time bride. You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our hotel. My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again."

"What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk.

"That one was a Democrat," said the woman, "and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened."

Veloce Raptor

outstanding

Adrienne

...and here I thought her 3rd was gonna be a Republican, because they only screw you up the...

...oh, nevermind...

Bonster

That's just a politician in general, Adrienne . . . it doesn't matter which camp they are in.

Mike in Chi

Heard it with something like six ex husbands, but this time she was going to get screwed for sure. She was marrying a lawyer

Bonster

Been there, done that. Lol. Not the six marriages thing, but the lawyer thing. Actually, I got screwed even more -- I put his *** through law school (BEFORE he had an affair and we divorced). GRRR.

Bull

But at least he was fair about it and gave you a good deal on handling the divorce, right?

Bonster

Bwahahaha, Bob. The more I look back, the more I realize that I didn't get a good deal at all. John says I should have gotten a female lawyer with a hyphenated last name. He could be onto something there.

TR6

A co-worker once told me (after going through a divorce with an attorney) NEVER EVER marry a lawyer, no matter how tempting it is. A lawyer is a valuable asset to have in the family as a parent, brother, sister, uncle, etc. But NEVER as a spouse!

Bonster

That's just it, Greg. He was not a lawyer when I married him. I put him through law school. Now he makes a fortune down in Southern California with one of the nation's leading intellectual property firms. At least with the one I'm marrying now, he's already got his master's and has no intention of furthering his education at this point. In fact, he's longing for retirement in ten years.

Veloce Raptor

Bonni, want me to have him capped?

Bonster

Lol, Dave . . . where were you ten years ago?

Veloce Raptor

Whacking other people.

Bonster

Ayee . . . I could have used your services on a certain father-in-law back then, lol. I will keep you on my Rolodex, so to speak. Eheh, in more ways than one. Lol.