Veloce Raptor

#10
>>
>> Golfer: 'Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake.'
> Caddy: 'Think you can keep your head down that long?'
>>
>> #9
>> Golfer: 'I'd move heaven and
>> earth to break 100 on this course.'
>> Caddy: 'Try heaven, you've already moved
>> most of the earth.'
>>
>> #8
>> Golfer: 'Do you think my game is improving?'
>> Caddy: 'Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.'
>>
>> #7
>> Golfer:
>> 'Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?'
>> Caddy: 'Eventually.'
>>
>>
>> #6
>> Golfer: 'You've got to be the worst caddy in the world '
>> Caddy: 'I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a
>> coincidence.'
>>
>>
>> #5
>> Golfer: 'Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too
>> much of a distraction.'
>> Caddy: 'It's not a watch - it's a compass.'
>>
>>
>> #4
>> Golfer: 'How do you like my game?'
>> Caddy: 'Very good sir, but
>> personally, I prefer golf.'
>>
>> #3
>> Golfer: 'Do you think it's a sin to
>> play on Sunday?
>> Caddy: 'The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day.'
>>
>>
>> #2
>> Golfer: 'This is the worst course I've ever played on.'
>>Caddy: 'This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago.'
>>
>> .
>> and the #1 best caddy comment:
>>
>> Golfer: 'That can't be my ball, it's too old.'
> Caddy: 'It's been a long time since we teed off, sir.'
>>
>>

jester911

A farmer with tons of land decides to build a golf course in his pasture. He is out playing the course one day with his wife and he shanks his approach shot to the green. The ball rolls right up in front of the barn door.

Muttering to himself about how to get around the barn his wife says "Don't worry honey. I will open up the barn doors on both sides and you can play through."

"Great" the man says so his wife is holding the barn door on the other side and the man takes his shot. Hits her right in the head and kills her.

So several months later he is playing the course with a friend and he hits almost the identical shot up next to the barn door.
"Dammit" he says. His buddy says " Man don't worry. I will open the door on the other side and you can play through.

The man replies " The last time I tried that I shot a 7 on this hole."

MRW

Or a true one, in Ireland, wife hits errant shot, I say "Sean, think we'll find that one?" Sean replies, "If it was wrapped in bacon, Lassie couldn't find it!"

Randy V

Needs more >>>>>>>>

Veloce Raptor

'Scuse me, this is a private forum...

paradisenb

Is he a good dentist?

A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning.

His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. "Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a good job?"

"Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot," he said. "The ball most have been going 200 mph when it hit me in the stomach. That," he added, "was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt."