RobertG

Found this over on the Pelican Parts board . . . kudos to the author Rich911E, Tumalo.

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Let's Help Wayne Out With Ideas for "101 Projects for Your Cayenne"
I think we should help Wayne get started on this book right now before somebody else does it. This book is potentially a huge money maker since you can obviously sell the Cayenne owner anything and charge a huge amount for it. It will probably get PelicanParts a 12 page article in Forbes.

To get the ball rolling, here a few ideas that should target the audience's level of competency:

1. Adding air to the tires on your own. Time= 1 hour; Difficulty level = 5; Cost: $27 ($5 tip to gas station attendant to instruct use of air hose; $20 dry cleaning for rustic-looking wool gabardine pants; $2 for latex exam gloves to protect manicure)

2. Getting Coffee While Someone Else Changes Your Oil. Time = 1 hour, Difficulty Level = 3; Cost $125 (Visit to doctor's office to ensure you are OK after having learning that you consumed non-designer brand of coffee in the waiting room = $120, Bottle of Pepto Bismol = $5)

3. Modifying Cup Holder to Accomodate Mega Grande Latte. Time:4 hours, Difficulty Level 7; Cost = $700 (Porsche Upgrade Coffee Holder Kit = $300, Custom fitted overalls with embroidered Porsche crest = $200; Neiman-Marcus signature screwdriver set = $100; Massage Therapist to massage aching limp wrist = $100)

4. Installing Floor Mats. Time: 2 hours, Difficulty level 4; Cost = $450 (Porsche Factory Mats $200; Feng-Shui Consultant to assist with color choice and alignment = $250)

5. Installing Radar Detector: Time = 2 hours, Difficulty level =4, Cost = $1120 (Radar Detector = $100, Cell phone call to Stuttgart for help in locating cigarette lighter under camoflaged plug = $20; payment to local police department resulting from test to ensure radar detector is working $300, Net present value of 5 year increase in insurance rates resulting from test = $700)

6. Upgrading GPS Software: Time 6 hours; Difficulty Level 9; Cost = $600 (Worldwide Starbuck's locations Software = $120; Worldwide Peet's Coffee locations Software = $180; Spa Locator Software = $200; Polo Club Registry Software = $100;

7. Installing Lacrosse Stick Holder: Time 4 hours; Difficulty Level 8; Cost = $675 (Porsche Techquipment Lacrosse Stick Holder Kit = $500, Neiman Marcus Signature Screwdriver Set (exclude if already purchased for cup holder project) = $100; Color coordinated calfskin mechanic's gloves = $75)

8. Adding Windshield Washer Fluid: Time 6 hours; Difficulty Level 10; Cost = $2650 (Complete Set of Porsche Service manuals for Cayenne = $800; biohazard 4 level containment suit (just in case of fluid spill) = $1400; Porsche Design titanium framed protective eye glasses = $400, Scented Non-Toxic, Environmentally Sensitive Sierra Club Approved Washer Fluid (aka distilled water) = $50/12 ounces.

Please add your ideas -- We can make Wayne a millionaire!

Flying Finn

9. Watching Wayne when he's rolling on the floor, laughing his a$$ off reading this hilarious material for Cayenne book (skill level 8):
Priceless!

I want that book!

Sun Ra

Robert,
we might as well have fun while porsche burns down! Do they really have a Porsche Techquipment Lacrosse Stick Holder Kit?? My son would love it as a joke in the GT2... altho' we go to Lax practise in the Yukon XL which is big enough - unlike the Cayenne -- to be useful.
watt
ps thanks again for your help, i was unable to send you emails further [undeliverable]

RobertG

I went to Viewpoint in Calabasas as an ankle biter.....I used to play..nothing better than a Lacrosse fight! Makes a Hockey Fight look like a sissyfit.

Sun Ra

My son goes to Viewpoint;I'm pitching the Headmaster to start a Varsity Lacrosse Program!! He's playing on the Malibu Club team.
Glad to hear you're an alum. The school's 25 acres now, they bought the scholl next door.
Best Watt