Thank you everyone for your responses. I guess I will just replace the battery and go from there. Hopefully will save the day

!In the last month I’ve spent $3000 on getting stuff fixed on this thing. I am well versed on “good parts” and this not being a cheap car to maintain. But I’m also getting to the point where it is nothing more than a money pit. I have 3 other vehicles (all Lexus’s) and between all 3 of them combined I haven’t spent a quarter of that on them in the last year.

To he honest I feel like this will be a very short lived Porsche ownership.

 

DX3.... you simply cannot own a Cayenne with a Lexus mindset. They are entirely two different leagues, altogether. Porsche ownership appreciation comes from deep within....regardless of how much money was spent. I recommend you replace the battery, cut your "losses" and just ditch it....

 

DX3, where are you located?....

c

 

So you’re going to fix all the problems and then sell it? That’s very nice of you to do for the next owner.
For me, 1/2 the fun of owning a Porsche is working on it and fixing these little issues to keep an amazing vehicle running strong. As mentioned before, once you have a well sorted vehicle, there is no other comparison. Getting there isn’t always easy and it does require a lot of time and patience and some money.
If you’re not the type of person that likes to DIY, then I can see how the cost of ownership might not be as rewarding.
We are very lucky to have a few incredibly knowledgeable people here that can help you figure out almost anything that’s going on with your Cayenne. There’s nothing that can’t be fixed relatively easily with their help, aside from cylinder scoring. That’s where I would cut my losses.
I hope the new battery works out for you.

 

Good move installing yourself.
Sears special ordered a battery for them to install. I asked the mechanic what he was expecting to find by pulling apart the rear tire storage area.
I guess they referred to a shop manual then decided not to do it. The shop manager suggested that I buy the battery and take it to a dealer for installation!

WRONG...next stop a Goodyear store where they installed an OEM battery. Not cheap but it worked perfectly until the day the S was sold.

 

You can try tapping on the relay with the head of a screw driver. Do this with the car on and lights warning lights illuminated. You can see the relay from behind the drivers seat. Move the seat all the way forward and up. The relay has 433 written on it. It’s free to check this.

 

This also goes for the 928. Without the braintrust of rennlist, my ownership experience would be much more dismal (not that it is but I couldn't think of a better way to phrase it). My 928 is a true supercar and driving it is a blast.

 

i have had my 2006 s for 3 years now. At times I have loved it but over all it’s been very annoying. I have a couple of racecars that fill my “fun wrenching” experience so I don’t need any time consumed with the tow vehicle. It has more small annoying issues than anything I have owned.....and I have owned a lot. I haven’t made a move to anything else yet because a 2006 S isn’t worth anything on trade so I am just milking it until it’s scrap.

If you are looking for simple utility and fun to drive I recently rented the Jag F-pace while visiting Italy and loved it.....can’t comment on the long term experience.

 

Just had to add...

While Brother was visiting for Thanksgiving his Hnda Odyssey wouldn't start and was doing weird things electrically.
Took battery out and took it to a Walmart Auto Center (brother bought it there, I buy Interstate).
When Walmart guy first put their checker on it said it just needed charged.
That guy took it over to their charger guy.
Charger guy was going to put it on the charger and checked it again before putting it on their charger.
This time the checker read out was "Bad, replace."
They replaced that battery it was only 1 year old and had a 3 year replacement warranty.
While waiting for them to process the paperwork the Walmart tech mentioned this was no big deal and do warrantee replacements for around 60 batteries a day.
We put the new battery in his Honda Oddity and all was good.
Brother couldn't understand why his 1 year old cheap Walmart battery had suddenly gone bad.

Just thought I would include this because on their first check the battery tested good and only needed charging, but in fact it was bad.

 

Yeah, I'd prefer to avoid having the 'techs' at Sears trying to figure out how to replace the battery "the easy way" and break some part of the seating.

 

Thank you to those who took the time to leave a positive response.

Well, I got a battery from Sears and it thankfully solved most of my problems aside from the sometimes nothing happening when I turned the key. So I dropped the car off at my mechanic and apparently my starter is going bad. There's another $700 to add to my $3000 into this thing in the past 6 weeks...

 

Sorry for your misfortune...

A couple of questions to put your situation in context for us since you are making broad and negative statements about the Cayenne:
Did you get a PPI before you purchased your Cayenne? How many miles 20k or 120k?

I suspect no to the first and yes to the latter if your airbags are failing. Please provide more details so we can provide the appropriate info to help. With a Porsche, there is no free lunch.

Cheers,
TomF

 

Most welcome of course

 

This sometimes happens to me. It seems like a problem with the brake lock-out due to the truck not reading that the brake is depressed when I turn the key. If I let my foot off the brake and push it again, I can feel the brake grab and the truck starts normally. It might be that I'm pushing down on the brake pedal before I insert the key, so the sensor doesn't have a chance to calibrate.

 

Is it absolutely nothing? Or is it a very short crank (like maybe 1/4 of a revolution or so) and no more?

What is the cranking speed like when it does crank? A bit slow (even with the new battery)?

The "short crank and no more" and slow cranking are symptoms of a starter that isn't working right.

BUT... The starter may crank like that for a while. Mine was doing that, and the PO had the battery replaced at the suggestion of the dealer. It kept doing it, and was doing it when I bought it. I replaced the pipes, and since I had everything apart, did the starter at the same time.

It was well over 2 years from the initial problem surfacing (based on receipts from the PO) to the time that I replaced the starter.

And it has cranked fast, with no "short crank and stop" since replacement.