Dead Battery Comedy
#1
Cruisin'
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First off, I'm not hear to rag on my baby, all cars have issues, this one is no different, except for the added comedic value it provides when things get ugly...
My wife and I got into the car the other day on our way to a bar to watch the NCAA tournament (Purdue lost, the car is a 2005 Carrera)
She shut her door, looked at it funny, opened, and slammed it again. "Is this shut?" she questioned. "Must be after that, Muscles" I insisted.
I put the key in the ignition, turned it, and dead silence. Hmmmm.....
Battery must be dead, no biggie. I'll hook it up to my trickle charger and we'll take another vehicle.
Oh yeah, the battery is in the trunk (bonnet), of course the release won't work. Hmm, there must be a manual release.
(shuffle through manual, read section on battery)
Ahh, cool. Discover clever method to use a "donor" battery with jumper cables. Next I try to take the keys out of the ignition, but the car won't release them... Ummmm.... O.K...
So, I follow the instructions to the "T" with the jumper cables... Nothing.
Whatever, let's go to the game. Only, now the doors won't close because the windows are stuck all the way up.
And the key is stuck in the ignition.
All I can say is thank goodness I was at home and the car was in the garage. I can picture myself hundreds of miles from home, standing in a raging downpour, dead battery, keys stuck in the ignition, doors won't close, waiting for hours on roadside assistance. Now THAT would be funny.
BTW, after the game roadside assistance showed up after 2 hours. The guy was absolutely clueless. I kindly educated him about the trunk release mechanism. I borrowed his battery and hooked it up, and for whatever reason, it worked this time.
Lessons learned: 1) I won't bother storing jumper cables in my trunk. 2) Laugh it off.
Enjoy your Porsches... and their quirks. Peace.
My wife and I got into the car the other day on our way to a bar to watch the NCAA tournament (Purdue lost, the car is a 2005 Carrera)
She shut her door, looked at it funny, opened, and slammed it again. "Is this shut?" she questioned. "Must be after that, Muscles" I insisted.
I put the key in the ignition, turned it, and dead silence. Hmmmm.....
Battery must be dead, no biggie. I'll hook it up to my trickle charger and we'll take another vehicle.
Oh yeah, the battery is in the trunk (bonnet), of course the release won't work. Hmm, there must be a manual release.
(shuffle through manual, read section on battery)
Ahh, cool. Discover clever method to use a "donor" battery with jumper cables. Next I try to take the keys out of the ignition, but the car won't release them... Ummmm.... O.K...
So, I follow the instructions to the "T" with the jumper cables... Nothing.
Whatever, let's go to the game. Only, now the doors won't close because the windows are stuck all the way up.
And the key is stuck in the ignition.
All I can say is thank goodness I was at home and the car was in the garage. I can picture myself hundreds of miles from home, standing in a raging downpour, dead battery, keys stuck in the ignition, doors won't close, waiting for hours on roadside assistance. Now THAT would be funny.
BTW, after the game roadside assistance showed up after 2 hours. The guy was absolutely clueless. I kindly educated him about the trunk release mechanism. I borrowed his battery and hooked it up, and for whatever reason, it worked this time.
Lessons learned: 1) I won't bother storing jumper cables in my trunk. 2) Laugh it off.
Enjoy your Porsches... and their quirks. Peace.
#2
Burning Brakes
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Dude, how long had the car sat since it was last started?
My car routinely sits 2 weeks at a crack whist it's owner is out subsidizing United Airlines; it never fails to crank right over and go (of course, the remote unlock times out, so I have to pull the the plug from the keyhole and open the door the old way...).
-d
My car routinely sits 2 weeks at a crack whist it's owner is out subsidizing United Airlines; it never fails to crank right over and go (of course, the remote unlock times out, so I have to pull the the plug from the keyhole and open the door the old way...).
-d
#3
Cruisin'
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It had been about a week. I've been driving the convertible since the weather has been nice here. I forgot to mention I left the V1 turned on. Guess that was enough.
#4
Burning Brakes
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Ohhhh, yeah. That'll do it.
Have you considered hardwiring to a switched point? I have not yet (lazy, busy - you pick the adjective) - but I always pull the power cord when I shut down. I'm using the accessory connector inside the armrest.
Have you considered hardwiring to a switched point? I have not yet (lazy, busy - you pick the adjective) - but I always pull the power cord when I shut down. I'm using the accessory connector inside the armrest.
#5
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Originally Posted by melllow
It had been about a week. I've been driving the convertible since the weather has been nice here. I forgot to mention I left the V1 turned on. Guess that was enough.
#6
Cruisin'
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Yeah, you're right. I need to get my lazy butt in the garage and hard wire it. I'm sure I'll get around to it about a month before I sell it, just like I did with my last car.
#7
Straight to Video
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Hahaha good writeup! Sorry not laughing at you laughing with you!
I figure I better practice this as I bet it will happen to me sooner or later.
I figure I better practice this as I bet it will happen to me sooner or later.
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#10
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Originally Posted by MyEmily
A naive question here, for long term storage at home, would leaving the trunk unlatch solve the problem of unopenable trunk lid due to dead battery? Just curious.
#11
Unique Title
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Since my 997 is still on order I can't answer this question myself and I'll ask again here:
Boxsters have a manual release cable inside the left front wheel well. Pull down the cowling and give it a tug to open the front compartment. Do 997's have this cable as well? The 987 manual describes the jumping procedure using the breakers in the footwell, but the manual release is there.
Boxsters have a manual release cable inside the left front wheel well. Pull down the cowling and give it a tug to open the front compartment. Do 997's have this cable as well? The 987 manual describes the jumping procedure using the breakers in the footwell, but the manual release is there.
#12
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Originally Posted by cviles
Since my 997 is still on order I can't answer this question myself and I'll ask again here:
Boxsters have a manual release cable inside the left front wheel well. Pull down the cowling and give it a tug to open the front compartment. Do 997's have this cable as well? The 987 manual describes the jumping procedure using the breakers in the footwell, but the manual release is there.
Boxsters have a manual release cable inside the left front wheel well. Pull down the cowling and give it a tug to open the front compartment. Do 997's have this cable as well? The 987 manual describes the jumping procedure using the breakers in the footwell, but the manual release is there.
#13
Drifting
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On the 996/986 the emergency release cable was on the right side.
When the 987 came out Peter Smith put on a tech session at the local dealer. The bumper cover and headlights had been removed. I looked on the right side for a release cable and could not find one.
When the Cayman came out we had another tech session. The headlights had been removed. This time I found the cable. It was on the left side. This is a picture of it in my hand.
I bet there is one on the 997/987 if you look on the left side.
The cable was never shown in the 996/986 owners manuals. But it was shown in the technical manuals and parts lists.
When the 987 came out Peter Smith put on a tech session at the local dealer. The bumper cover and headlights had been removed. I looked on the right side for a release cable and could not find one.
When the Cayman came out we had another tech session. The headlights had been removed. This time I found the cable. It was on the left side. This is a picture of it in my hand.
I bet there is one on the 997/987 if you look on the left side.
The cable was never shown in the 996/986 owners manuals. But it was shown in the technical manuals and parts lists.
#14
Race Car
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The trick is after the battery dies, you have to hit the unlock button on the key, because the car thinks someone is trying to steal it when the battery is disconnected.
#15
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Originally Posted by Tool Pants
On the 996/986 the emergency release cable was on the right side.
When the 987 came out Peter Smith put on a tech session at the local dealer. The bumper cover and headlights had been removed. I looked on the right side for a release cable and could not find one.
When the Cayman came out we had another tech session. The headlights had been removed. This time I found the cable. It was on the left side. This is a picture of it in my hand.
I bet there is one on the 997/987 if you look on the left side.
The cable was never shown in the 996/986 owners manuals. But it was shown in the technical manuals and parts lists.
When the 987 came out Peter Smith put on a tech session at the local dealer. The bumper cover and headlights had been removed. I looked on the right side for a release cable and could not find one.
When the Cayman came out we had another tech session. The headlights had been removed. This time I found the cable. It was on the left side. This is a picture of it in my hand.
I bet there is one on the 997/987 if you look on the left side.
The cable was never shown in the 996/986 owners manuals. But it was shown in the technical manuals and parts lists.