My Porsche Story -- Long
#1
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I get a call from my wife a while back. “Honey,” she says, “would it be all right if I took the Porsche to Pleasanton to visit Lisa this morning? It’s such a beautiful day and I’ve been missing the T-Bird and I just think it would be nice to go for a drive with the top down.” “Uh, umm, ok,” I say, hesitating only because her experience driving a manual transmission consists of about 45 minutes in a parking lot with me two weeks earlier. “Are you sure you don’t want to wait ‘til I can come with you?” “No, I’ll be fine. There aren’t many stoplights and it’s mostly freeway driving.” What could I say? She had offered to sell her baby blue 2003 T-Bird to make room in the garage when I found my dream 2000 C4 cab six months earlier. “Ok, honey. Have a great time.” Holy crap, I’m thinking. Don’t worry. She’s capable and competent and was doing reasonably well in the parking lot. She’ll do fine…. I hope.
Somewhat surprisingly, I get back to work without too much worry. Then I get a call about an hour-and-half later. “How’s it going?” I ask. “Pretty well. I only stalled it a couple of times leaving the driveway, and once getting on Highway 4.” Ok, that doesn’t sound too bad. “Once I got on Vasco Road it was great. It was such a wonderful drive, with the wind in my hair. But then when I got on the freeway, all of a sudden, it got really loud. So I got off at the first exit. I’m in the Target parking lot now. I looked at the back of the car and it looks fine. Just like you showed me last week.” Uh, oh. I’m starting to get worried. I had installed the PSE the week before. I’m sure I torqued everything down to spec. Didn’t I? “Honey,” I said. “Are the exhaust tips there?” “Yeah,” she says, “it’s nice and shiny. Just like when you put it on.” “Um, put IT on? You mean, put THEM on, right? There are two tips. One on each side.” “No. There’s just the new one you put on last week.”
Now I’m worried. I should have paid a mechanic to do the install. “Are you sure there’s only one. There should be two.” What the heck was I thinking? “Maybe it fell off when I got on the freeway." Why did I buy into all that crap on Renntech about DIY being the way to truly get to know your new-to-you Porsche? "Can you drive out and look with me? Maybe we can find it. Is your calendar clear?” I'm an idiot. I'll never do another mod myself. “Uh, I’ve got a conference call in a while.” “Check your calendar, honey. Are you sure you’ve got something scheduled? Check your calendar. We can look for it together.” This is definitely not good. “I don’t need to check my calendar. I’ve got a conference call in a while. I can’t drive out there now.” “I think you want to check your calendar.” Check my calendar? Check my calendar? Ding. Ding. Ding. I must be the slowest guy around. I shouldn’t have to check my calendar to know it’s April 1st. What a fool I am. She didn’t even drive the Porsche….
Somewhat surprisingly, I get back to work without too much worry. Then I get a call about an hour-and-half later. “How’s it going?” I ask. “Pretty well. I only stalled it a couple of times leaving the driveway, and once getting on Highway 4.” Ok, that doesn’t sound too bad. “Once I got on Vasco Road it was great. It was such a wonderful drive, with the wind in my hair. But then when I got on the freeway, all of a sudden, it got really loud. So I got off at the first exit. I’m in the Target parking lot now. I looked at the back of the car and it looks fine. Just like you showed me last week.” Uh, oh. I’m starting to get worried. I had installed the PSE the week before. I’m sure I torqued everything down to spec. Didn’t I? “Honey,” I said. “Are the exhaust tips there?” “Yeah,” she says, “it’s nice and shiny. Just like when you put it on.” “Um, put IT on? You mean, put THEM on, right? There are two tips. One on each side.” “No. There’s just the new one you put on last week.”
Now I’m worried. I should have paid a mechanic to do the install. “Are you sure there’s only one. There should be two.” What the heck was I thinking? “Maybe it fell off when I got on the freeway." Why did I buy into all that crap on Renntech about DIY being the way to truly get to know your new-to-you Porsche? "Can you drive out and look with me? Maybe we can find it. Is your calendar clear?” I'm an idiot. I'll never do another mod myself. “Uh, I’ve got a conference call in a while.” “Check your calendar, honey. Are you sure you’ve got something scheduled? Check your calendar. We can look for it together.” This is definitely not good. “I don’t need to check my calendar. I’ve got a conference call in a while. I can’t drive out there now.” “I think you want to check your calendar.” Check my calendar? Check my calendar? Ding. Ding. Ding. I must be the slowest guy around. I shouldn’t have to check my calendar to know it’s April 1st. What a fool I am. She didn’t even drive the Porsche….
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#5
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Oh she got you good!
#6
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She lured me in beginning with the first phone call, knowing I feel bad about her T-Bird. She set the hook with "only stalled it a couple times." Then she reeled me in with "it got really loud" and the "single" exhaust tip. I deserved it, though. Too much Porsche obsessing.