HWFM Racing Humor Competition: The 993 Board vs. The 964 Board
#1
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Over the years, the 964 guys have frequently claimed that the 993 board is up-tight and humorless, while the 964 board is laid-back, witty and says “Kumbaya” a lot.
Now I know guys on the 964 board like Joey Bagadonuts can be a laff riot, but Ray Calvo can tickle your ribs like no other if you’re into caustic sarcasm. And I won’t even get into JimBob Jumpback (he’s so funny we may have to disqualify him from this).
So to settle this once and for all, the “Hey Wait For Me” Racing Team is sponsoring a humor challenge between the two boards. (I was going to include the 996 board, but figured posting the competition on mirrors all across the country would take too long, so it’s just between us two boards.)
THE COMPETITION:
For the last two years I’ve posted “The Scariest Rennlist Thoughts For Halloween”.
For 2003, I’ll let this competition provide our Halloween entertainment.
To win the competition, come up with your own scary thought pertaining to Porsches, Rennlist, or racing. Remember, to be effective, it has to be understood, and appreciated (in other words, Get Laughs) by people on both boards.
Examples: “Steve Weiner turns out to really be Mr. Goodwrench”
“John D brings back the star-rating system”
“Playgirl Magazine announces the ‘Men of Rennlist’ issue.”
(Pretty scary, huh?)
PRIZES:
Your chance to be recognized by these two insular groups as being truly funny.
Your chance to prove which board is the funniest.
Best of all, your chance to win a genuine HWFM Racing wearable.
LEGALESE: (I will be assisted in any legal issue by the Team Counsel, Dan in St. Louis. If you sue us over the results, we’ll tie you up in the courts for years)
Enter as many times as you like.
Entries must be posted by midnight on Halloween. This gives you guys who drive inferior cars plenty of time to come up with something funny.
Decision of the impartial judges (me – Don’t worry, I can be impartial, I’m paid to do this every day) is final.
Yes, those exceedingly dry Brits on the 964 board do seem to have an advantage (though not automotive), but I’m sure good old Yankee ingenuity will come through.
Finally, any inflammatory statements above are meant in jest, and do not reflect the true beliefs of HWFMR management.
Now I know guys on the 964 board like Joey Bagadonuts can be a laff riot, but Ray Calvo can tickle your ribs like no other if you’re into caustic sarcasm. And I won’t even get into JimBob Jumpback (he’s so funny we may have to disqualify him from this).
So to settle this once and for all, the “Hey Wait For Me” Racing Team is sponsoring a humor challenge between the two boards. (I was going to include the 996 board, but figured posting the competition on mirrors all across the country would take too long, so it’s just between us two boards.)
THE COMPETITION:
For the last two years I’ve posted “The Scariest Rennlist Thoughts For Halloween”.
For 2003, I’ll let this competition provide our Halloween entertainment.
To win the competition, come up with your own scary thought pertaining to Porsches, Rennlist, or racing. Remember, to be effective, it has to be understood, and appreciated (in other words, Get Laughs) by people on both boards.
Examples: “Steve Weiner turns out to really be Mr. Goodwrench”
“John D brings back the star-rating system”
“Playgirl Magazine announces the ‘Men of Rennlist’ issue.”
(Pretty scary, huh?)
PRIZES:
Your chance to be recognized by these two insular groups as being truly funny.
Your chance to prove which board is the funniest.
Best of all, your chance to win a genuine HWFM Racing wearable.
LEGALESE: (I will be assisted in any legal issue by the Team Counsel, Dan in St. Louis. If you sue us over the results, we’ll tie you up in the courts for years)
Enter as many times as you like.
Entries must be posted by midnight on Halloween. This gives you guys who drive inferior cars plenty of time to come up with something funny.
Decision of the impartial judges (me – Don’t worry, I can be impartial, I’m paid to do this every day) is final.
Yes, those exceedingly dry Brits on the 964 board do seem to have an advantage (though not automotive), but I’m sure good old Yankee ingenuity will come through.
Finally, any inflammatory statements above are meant in jest, and do not reflect the true beliefs of HWFMR management.
#2
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Robert Linton's Carbon Fiber goods don't really exist. In fact, that's not even his real name. Rumor has it his last name is "Tien" and he's attempting a CF version of a Front Protection Bar, in chrome, of course!
...ooooh, scarrry![Smilie](https://rennlist.com/forums/images/smilies/smile.gif)
Edward
...ooooh, scarrry
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Edward
#3
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Ray C. and Jimbob are really the same person (whose "real" first name is Sybil).
.....yes, I'm at work with a bit too much time on my hands
.....yes, I'm at work with a bit too much time on my hands
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#7
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Originally posted by Edward
Porsche is thinking about getting out of racing ...to build an SUV!!!
![EEK!](https://rennlist.com/forums/images/smilies/eek.gif)
Porsche is thinking about getting out of racing ...to build an SUV!!!
![EEK!](https://rennlist.com/forums/images/smilies/eek.gif)
![Stick Out Tongue](https://rennlist.com/forums/images/smilies/tongue.gif)
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The 993 is actually water cooled, its just that we havent had our engines apart yet to discover this......
#9
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For 2005, Porsche is introducing a low end 997 with the VW turbo-charged four.....
#10
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From the 997 launch press kit in June 2004:
Porsche is proud to introduce the Type 997, an evolution of the 996 with looks and features inspired by the classic 993.... To recapture that special 993 "feel", the 997 includes the Drive-Block security system...
Porsche is proud to introduce the Type 997, an evolution of the 996 with looks and features inspired by the classic 993.... To recapture that special 993 "feel", the 997 includes the Drive-Block security system...
#11
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Coming soon to a theater near you:
Zee Fast Und Zee Furious, Neon Porsche Street Wars!
Zee Fast Und Zee Furious, Neon Porsche Street Wars!
#12
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In an effort to save development costs for the new 998, Porsche will share the platform and engines with Hyundai of Korea for Hyundai's entry into the ultra sports car segment.
Hyundai's yet unnamed sports car will be twin turbo charged putting out 650 hp w/4 wheel drive and retail for $50,000.
Hyundai's yet unnamed sports car will be twin turbo charged putting out 650 hp w/4 wheel drive and retail for $50,000.
#14
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Mobil Announces Recall of Mobil1 Synthetic Oil
Mobil today announced a world wide recall of Mobil1 Synthetic
oil. Routine quality tests uncovered a production formulation error that
causes a complete break down of lubrication properties when
used in air-cooled engines that see use greater than 4,000 rpm.
When subject to these conditions, the break down is instantaneous
and not reversible. In addition to a break down of lubrication properties,
the transformed fluid has corrosive properties similar to salt water.
Because of an additional but unrelated error in production tracking,
there is no way to determine which bottles were effected or where
they were sent. Ironically though, the exact number of tainted
bottles is known to be 964,993.
In order to handle the volume of inquires, Mobil has set up a special
phone number (800-55NOH2O) and hired recently displaced
tele-marketers whose second language is English.
Mobil today announced a world wide recall of Mobil1 Synthetic
oil. Routine quality tests uncovered a production formulation error that
causes a complete break down of lubrication properties when
used in air-cooled engines that see use greater than 4,000 rpm.
When subject to these conditions, the break down is instantaneous
and not reversible. In addition to a break down of lubrication properties,
the transformed fluid has corrosive properties similar to salt water.
Because of an additional but unrelated error in production tracking,
there is no way to determine which bottles were effected or where
they were sent. Ironically though, the exact number of tainted
bottles is known to be 964,993.
In order to handle the volume of inquires, Mobil has set up a special
phone number (800-55NOH2O) and hired recently displaced
tele-marketers whose second language is English.
#15
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Deciding that the passion of Porsches is a tiresome road to enlightenment, John D. takes up the discipline of meditation and dismantles the wildly popular Rennlist discussion boards, creating a new web forum called...Zenlist.