HWFM Racing Humor Competition: The 993 Board vs. The 964 Board
10-29-2003, 08:30 PM
#31
Instructor
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 193
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Rennlist - UCLA Psychology Experiment
UCLA today announced that the popular Rennlist
site was a front for a psychology experiment designed
to evaluate humans relationship with their automobiles.
As an indication of the far reaching and comprehensive
nature of the study, UCLA disclosed that in addition to
studying the site content, researchers have direct
access to each subjects PC including private files, email
and instant message sessions.
The report, due in Psychology Today's December issue,
promises many surprising insights re the nature of mans
relationship with his car.
site was a front for a psychology experiment designed
to evaluate humans relationship with their automobiles.
As an indication of the far reaching and comprehensive
nature of the study, UCLA disclosed that in addition to
studying the site content, researchers have direct
access to each subjects PC including private files, email
and instant message sessions.
The report, due in Psychology Today's December issue,
promises many surprising insights re the nature of mans
relationship with his car.
10-29-2003, 08:55 PM
#32
Nordschleife Master
API: Los Angeles. Researchers at UCLA have confirmed the "myth" of Porsche owners having smaller than normal "male genitalia". It has long been suspected that this was true, but researchers at UCLA have concluded a ten year study which proves conclusively that the average ***** size of Porsche owners is 7/8" shorter than drivers of all other cars, with the exception of Ferrari owners, whose penises could not be found.
Sorry guys. Oh, and where did the damn spell checker go?
Sorry guys. Oh, and where did the damn spell checker go?
10-29-2003, 10:52 PM
#34
Lifetime Rennlist
Member
Thread Starter
MID-COMPETITION UPDATE
Some really funny entries on both boards.
C4TT
Highly creative. And all the more scary because it is true. Love the rattle. Do you mind if HWFMR makes those? You'll get a cut of course.
Old Guy
Very funny, though I don't know if it's scary or not. Is your mother-in-law scary?
L8 Apex
Try posting that on some of the other air-cooled boards and see what happens. But maybe you should do that around April 1st, not Halloween.
John W.
Good to hear from you again. I said scary, not pure fantasy... (btw, who was driving for the team at Le Mans?)
Jim
Nothing is scarier than Frankie. And the mere mention of his name could make this post go to 20 pages. Truly frightening.
Scariest thought so far from the 964 board. The HWFMR wearable that's first prize is a HWFMR thong.
(Rich W)
All
Keep'em coming. Two whole days more to be funny.
Some really funny entries on both boards.
C4TT
Highly creative. And all the more scary because it is true. Love the rattle. Do you mind if HWFMR makes those? You'll get a cut of course.
Old Guy
Very funny, though I don't know if it's scary or not. Is your mother-in-law scary?
L8 Apex
Try posting that on some of the other air-cooled boards and see what happens. But maybe you should do that around April 1st, not Halloween.
John W.
Good to hear from you again. I said scary, not pure fantasy... (btw, who was driving for the team at Le Mans?)
Jim
Nothing is scarier than Frankie. And the mere mention of his name could make this post go to 20 pages. Truly frightening.
Scariest thought so far from the 964 board. The HWFMR wearable that's first prize is a HWFMR thong.
(Rich W)
All
Keep'em coming. Two whole days more to be funny.
10-30-2003, 02:27 AM
#35
Addict
Rennlist Member
Rennlist Member
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Newcastle, WA
Posts: 195
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Porsche announces it's new model the Carrera 6S.
Scheduled for release in July 2005, production will begin
upon closure of the Cayenne SUV production facility.
Based on the 993 design, the Carrera 6S is predicated
upon advanced drive train and engine technology.
The drive drain is computer controlled for managing the
active six wheels providing traction in strait line acceleration.
The engine incorporates high energy pulsed RF for the
ignition system, which eliminates the need for spark plugs
and permits higher compression. All gaskets are
upgraded to stainless steel and Teflon polymers, and the
valve guides utilize a unique synthetic sapphire composite.
An onboard computer enables factory firmware upgrades and
diagnostics via an RS232 interface. Diagnostics and upgrades
will be offered on line free of charge. The engine displacement
has been increased from 3.6 to 5.7 liters for both the normally
aspirated engine as well as the turbo. The turbo incorporates
four turbos yielding boost levels of 28 PSI. The six wheel drive
quad turbo will deliver 1,550 bhp @ 6,200 rpm and 1,200 ft-lb
torque between 2,800-6,000 rpm. While the normally aspirated
Carrera 6S will deliver 635 bhp @ 5,900 rpm and a respectful
578 ft-lb @ 5,800 rpm. Performance figures yield 0-62 MPH times
of 3.1 sec for the 6S, and 1.8 sec for the quad turbo, quarter mile
times of 10.1 sec @ 137 MPH for the 6S, and 7.5 sec at 162 MPH
for the quad turbo.
10-30-2003, 04:47 AM
#36
The Hoffinator
Rennlist Member
Rennlist Member
Originally posted by Franklin229
For 2005, Porsche is introducing a low end 997 with the VW turbo-charged four.....
For 2005, Porsche is introducing a low end 997 with the VW turbo-charged four.....
10-30-2003, 08:37 AM
#37
Originally posted by Mike in Chi
John W.
Good to hear from you again. I said scary, not pure fantasy...
(btw, who was driving for the team at Le Mans?)
John W.
Good to hear from you again. I said scary, not pure fantasy...
(btw, who was driving for the team at Le Mans?)
Driving would be Ray Calvo, on his own for the full 24 hours....
IN A CAYENNE...
btw, not slating Cayennes here but I know what Ray thinks of them so the thought of him just driving one is scary
Cheers,
John.
10-30-2003, 03:45 PM
#38
Burning Brakes
997 nomenclature change.
In keeping with its current branding theme, Porsche announced it will be replacing
the Carrera nameplate with the more meaningful and market savvy "Chipotle".
Also debuting on the new 997, a body treatment to evoke its popular, curvaceous and
aesthetically pleasing water-cooled ancestor, the 964.
"Those thick, stumpy overhangs just look so much safer" newly appointed design chief
Dr. M. Lincoln gushed....
(with apologies to Dr. Lincoln)
In keeping with its current branding theme, Porsche announced it will be replacing
the Carrera nameplate with the more meaningful and market savvy "Chipotle".
Also debuting on the new 997, a body treatment to evoke its popular, curvaceous and
aesthetically pleasing water-cooled ancestor, the 964.
"Those thick, stumpy overhangs just look so much safer" newly appointed design chief
Dr. M. Lincoln gushed....
(with apologies to Dr. Lincoln)
10-30-2003, 08:35 PM
#39
Three Wheelin'
Fabspeed.com announces arrive and drive program in partnership with Kelly-Moss. Unique to Fabspeed's program will be the replacement of dedicated car mechanic with a Hawaiian Tropic "pit girl" to help drivers over roll cages and to tighten harnesses. Costs for the program are substantially low, as girls will work for dollar bills and the prospect of bagging a rich husband. It has been rumored that this program is already sold out for the Sebring Club Race and Brian Redman is talking with Fabspeed to have his girls be the grandmarshalls at Rennsport Reunion II.
Two weeks later, the membership of HWFMR has doubled after Steve Wiener announces new 12 point harnesses available only to HWFMR drivers.
Two weeks later, the membership of HWFMR has doubled after Steve Wiener announces new 12 point harnesses available only to HWFMR drivers.
10-30-2003, 09:14 PM
#40
Burning Brakes
Originally posted by ca993twin
... the average ***** size of Porsche owners is 7/8" shorter than drivers of all other cars, with the exception of Ferrari owners, whose penises could not be found....
... the average ***** size of Porsche owners is 7/8" shorter than drivers of all other cars, with the exception of Ferrari owners, whose penises could not be found....
10-31-2003, 05:01 PM
#42
Phlat Black Guru
Rennlist
Lifetime Member
- Times 2
Rennlist
Lifetime Member
- Times 2
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Back In RI...............
Posts: 4,484
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like
on
1 Post
In the spirit of the orginal list.
scarey thoughts for halloween
flying finn adds weight to his car
Dan becomes a GURU
M in C becomes a GURU in the technical sense
Ray looses his manuels-and has to ask us for advice
Silver bullet converts his race car into a street car, using stock parts
Randel G finally gets a whole 993
Radical racer is really DJ
DJ is really Frank with MaAD SkiLLezzS
viperbob starts making housecalls to all rennlisters near and far
Steve OFE is really a 20 something computer tech.
Robert asks us a questions....and we tell him to DO A SEARCH
all the 964'ers come out of the closet, and revel they prefer 993's
Robin starts advertising that his RSRs add horsepower
I start posting with correct grammar, and spelling
scarey thoughts for halloween
flying finn adds weight to his car
Dan becomes a GURU
M in C becomes a GURU in the technical sense
Ray looses his manuels-and has to ask us for advice
Silver bullet converts his race car into a street car, using stock parts
Randel G finally gets a whole 993
Radical racer is really DJ
DJ is really Frank with MaAD SkiLLezzS
viperbob starts making housecalls to all rennlisters near and far
Steve OFE is really a 20 something computer tech.
Robert asks us a questions....and we tell him to DO A SEARCH
all the 964'ers come out of the closet, and revel they prefer 993's
Robin starts advertising that his RSRs add horsepower
I start posting with correct grammar, and spelling
10-31-2003, 05:02 PM
#43
Racer
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: No. VA
Posts: 417
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Not funny at all, just scary.
In just a few years your insurance agent will be able to wirelessly download your driving habits, straight from your car's CPU. He will then charge accordingly.
So will the Highway Patrol.
I'm really trying to think of something funny, but after the Carrera 6S and Chipotle, I'm fresh out.
In just a few years your insurance agent will be able to wirelessly download your driving habits, straight from your car's CPU. He will then charge accordingly.
So will the Highway Patrol.
I'm really trying to think of something funny, but after the Carrera 6S and Chipotle, I'm fresh out.
10-31-2003, 05:08 PM
#44
Lifetime Rennlist
Member
Thread Starter
Derrick
No problem. Don't sweat it.
Do you know how easy it is to replace a CPU? Maybe we should go into business with the Robin Sun Conglomerate, and make sanitized chips. Replace your original after every track day or high speed run. It's the people with the On Star system that have to worry.
No problem. Don't sweat it.
Do you know how easy it is to replace a CPU? Maybe we should go into business with the Robin Sun Conglomerate, and make sanitized chips. Replace your original after every track day or high speed run. It's the people with the On Star system that have to worry.
10-31-2003, 05:14 PM
#45
That's Bubba Guru to you
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: South of da Mason-Dixson
Posts: 325
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
awl yall bubbas finalee dun figger out who ol JimBob relee iz.
an beeleve u me, dat wood be bein perty scaree.
Yur Fren,
JimBob
alias Bubba Guru
an beeleve u me, dat wood be bein perty scaree.
Yur Fren,
JimBob
alias Bubba Guru