Therapy for 911 Owners
01-31-2003, 05:31 AM
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Therapy for 911 Owners
I see from amny of the mesages of late that there are some new 911 owners visiting this forum. I thought that I ought to post an old note that I sent to our PCA Region a few years ago. Perhaps it is timely to post again here for the new owners. It might address some FAQ's. If you know of any other irrefutable laws of 911 ownership, feel free to add them.
Free Therapy for All 911 Owners
If you haven’t already been there, check out the great website, rennlist.com. It’s treasure trove of information, misinformation, and otherwise interesting reading of messages sent between Porschefiles. I have been following the 993 bulletin board the last few years. I have found it informative, enlightening, and at times humorous. However, I suspect that there is a strong underlying layer of pure Porsche PARANOIA out there. I’d like to help all those so afflicted. Let me lay out Dr. Fred’s 10 irrefutable laws of 911 ownership:
1. ALL 911s USE OIL! There I’ve said it. It’s out in the open for all to see. With a horizontally opposed engine with oil lying in the heads and at times draining from the sump to the crankcase, a 911 is going to burn oil at times. You’ll notice it occasionally at start-up. Until the rings seat, it will consume oil during driving. Check the owner’s manual. It even tells you how much to expect.
2. ALL 911s LEAK OIL! Tell us it’s not so Dr. Fred! The 911 engine has more seams, gaskets, seals and o-rings that just about any other engine I can name. Sooner or later, some of these joints are going to leak. It’s NOT a problem. If you drop the cover below the engine on a 993 or 996 you will see the evidence. Hiding this from your eyes is probably the main purpose of this belly pan.
3. AT SOME TIME, ALL 911 BRAKES WILL SQUEAL! It varies from car to car. It’s the vibration of the pads. Sure it can be annoying, but you can’t make it go away forever.
4. DRIVEN HARD ENOUGH ON THE TRACK, ALL 911 BRAKES CAN OVERHEAT! Despite this apparent “shortcoming”, you have a car with the finest brake system on the road today. You just don’t appreciate how hard the system works under track use.
5. ALL 911s WILL WEAR OUT TIRES FASTER THAN ANYTHING SHORT OF A VIPER! You’ve got a lot of weight and torque at the rear wheels. The rear tires will wear out twice as fast as the fronts. It doesn’t matter what the brand, the relative wear front to back is the same.
6. NO MATTER WHERE OR HOW YOU PARK, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GET A DOOR DING! It’s only a matter of time. You may feel better to ding it yourself the first time and get it over with.
7. NO MATTER WHAT PROTECTION YOU USE, SHORT OF A FULL BODY CONDOM, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GET STONE CHIPS! Same principal as law # 6.
8. NO MATTER WHAT MODIFICATIONS YOU INSTALL, SOMEONE WITH A LESSER CAR IS ALWAYS FASTER THAN YOU ON THE TRACK! For proof, ask Mika Hakkinen. Note, if you’re reading this Mr. Schumacher, you can skip law #8.
9. THE 911 HAS THE MOST COMPLEX PROCEDURE TO CHECK ENGINE OIL LEVEL OF ANY DEVICE EVER BUILT! Just read the owner’s manual and don’t try to read too much into what you see on the dash gauge or the dipstick. The design has lots of room for erroneous readings.
10. ALL 911s LEFT THE FACTORY AS RACE CARS! Don’t baby your baby. When the opportunity presents itself, grab the animal by the scruff of the neck and wring it out! Your car will absolutely love you for it. It will probably run better for the next few weeks just to show you its appreciation.
What I’ve tried to say with all of this is don’t take this Porsche thing THAT seriously. Enjoy the oddities and quirks of the machine. It appears that Porsche is hell-bent on sanitizing future models for your protection. You can drive every mile in anxiety over every little thing, or you can just sit back and enjoy one of the greatest cars ever to come down the road.
RELAX!………………………………..and ENJOY!
Dr. Fred
No charge for private counseling sessions.
Free Therapy for All 911 Owners
If you haven’t already been there, check out the great website, rennlist.com. It’s treasure trove of information, misinformation, and otherwise interesting reading of messages sent between Porschefiles. I have been following the 993 bulletin board the last few years. I have found it informative, enlightening, and at times humorous. However, I suspect that there is a strong underlying layer of pure Porsche PARANOIA out there. I’d like to help all those so afflicted. Let me lay out Dr. Fred’s 10 irrefutable laws of 911 ownership:
1. ALL 911s USE OIL! There I’ve said it. It’s out in the open for all to see. With a horizontally opposed engine with oil lying in the heads and at times draining from the sump to the crankcase, a 911 is going to burn oil at times. You’ll notice it occasionally at start-up. Until the rings seat, it will consume oil during driving. Check the owner’s manual. It even tells you how much to expect.
2. ALL 911s LEAK OIL! Tell us it’s not so Dr. Fred! The 911 engine has more seams, gaskets, seals and o-rings that just about any other engine I can name. Sooner or later, some of these joints are going to leak. It’s NOT a problem. If you drop the cover below the engine on a 993 or 996 you will see the evidence. Hiding this from your eyes is probably the main purpose of this belly pan.
3. AT SOME TIME, ALL 911 BRAKES WILL SQUEAL! It varies from car to car. It’s the vibration of the pads. Sure it can be annoying, but you can’t make it go away forever.
4. DRIVEN HARD ENOUGH ON THE TRACK, ALL 911 BRAKES CAN OVERHEAT! Despite this apparent “shortcoming”, you have a car with the finest brake system on the road today. You just don’t appreciate how hard the system works under track use.
5. ALL 911s WILL WEAR OUT TIRES FASTER THAN ANYTHING SHORT OF A VIPER! You’ve got a lot of weight and torque at the rear wheels. The rear tires will wear out twice as fast as the fronts. It doesn’t matter what the brand, the relative wear front to back is the same.
6. NO MATTER WHERE OR HOW YOU PARK, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GET A DOOR DING! It’s only a matter of time. You may feel better to ding it yourself the first time and get it over with.
7. NO MATTER WHAT PROTECTION YOU USE, SHORT OF A FULL BODY CONDOM, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GET STONE CHIPS! Same principal as law # 6.
8. NO MATTER WHAT MODIFICATIONS YOU INSTALL, SOMEONE WITH A LESSER CAR IS ALWAYS FASTER THAN YOU ON THE TRACK! For proof, ask Mika Hakkinen. Note, if you’re reading this Mr. Schumacher, you can skip law #8.
9. THE 911 HAS THE MOST COMPLEX PROCEDURE TO CHECK ENGINE OIL LEVEL OF ANY DEVICE EVER BUILT! Just read the owner’s manual and don’t try to read too much into what you see on the dash gauge or the dipstick. The design has lots of room for erroneous readings.
10. ALL 911s LEFT THE FACTORY AS RACE CARS! Don’t baby your baby. When the opportunity presents itself, grab the animal by the scruff of the neck and wring it out! Your car will absolutely love you for it. It will probably run better for the next few weeks just to show you its appreciation.
What I’ve tried to say with all of this is don’t take this Porsche thing THAT seriously. Enjoy the oddities and quirks of the machine. It appears that Porsche is hell-bent on sanitizing future models for your protection. You can drive every mile in anxiety over every little thing, or you can just sit back and enjoy one of the greatest cars ever to come down the road.
RELAX!………………………………..and ENJOY!
Dr. Fred
No charge for private counseling sessions.
01-31-2003, 02:35 PM
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Dr. Fred,
Yes, to all of the above, but you missed one:
ALL 911 owners will (eventually) obsess over which suspension, engine, body, or interior mod to perform.
I'm Ed Victoria and I'm a Porscheholic...."
Yes, to all of the above, but you missed one:
ALL 911 owners will (eventually) obsess over which suspension, engine, body, or interior mod to perform.
I'm Ed Victoria and I'm a Porscheholic...."
01-31-2003, 02:37 PM
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"Hi Ed" (the room speaks in unison)
01-31-2003, 02:58 PM
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This is exactly what I was looking for last week when I posted "what to expect in first month with a 993"
I just bought my first, a 97 993-2S, and I can't wait to wring it out!
I just bought my first, a 97 993-2S, and I can't wait to wring it out!
01-31-2003, 06:59 PM
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Hello group.
I too am a Porsche-holic.
It didn't become serious until March 2002, when I bought my first Porsche, a 95 993 Cab, but it probably started when I was about 6 or 7, with my first Porsche poster...and became worse when the 930 Turbo came out...
I too immediately called the person I bought the car from because I thought the oil had all leaked out in my first 5 minutes of ownership.
I too consider a body condom for the car. I fear the day I see someone ding my door, for it might be my last day on "the outside"...
And to add to the list of obsessions...don't forget water on the road, birds overhead, skateboards of any kind, potholes, dust, fingerprints, finding the "perfect" wax, dealers washing it and messing up your Zaino...but I digress.
I'm just glad I'm not alone and there is a group like this to help me (and some of you even make me feel like I'm relaxed <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> ).
That's my story.
(Sits down).
I too am a Porsche-holic.
It didn't become serious until March 2002, when I bought my first Porsche, a 95 993 Cab, but it probably started when I was about 6 or 7, with my first Porsche poster...and became worse when the 930 Turbo came out...
I too immediately called the person I bought the car from because I thought the oil had all leaked out in my first 5 minutes of ownership.
I too consider a body condom for the car. I fear the day I see someone ding my door, for it might be my last day on "the outside"...
And to add to the list of obsessions...don't forget water on the road, birds overhead, skateboards of any kind, potholes, dust, fingerprints, finding the "perfect" wax, dealers washing it and messing up your Zaino...but I digress.
I'm just glad I'm not alone and there is a group like this to help me (and some of you even make me feel like I'm relaxed <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> ).
That's my story.
(Sits down).
01-31-2003, 07:30 PM
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My comments from owning 3 different 911 versions for over half my life and putting prob. 300K miles total on all 3:
1. ALL 911s USE OIL!
Potentially no more than "standard" cars that pump water. I can go 3K miles between oil additions, and this is on the 993 or my Audi A4.
2. ALL 911s LEAK OIL!
BAT GUANO!!!!!! 993 is tight as a drum - no leaks exc. for what I drop when doing a oil/filter change (and this is at 72K miles)!
3. AT SOME TIME, ALL 911 BRAKES WILL SQUEAL!
Likely true - also likely true on other hi perf. sports cars.
4. DRIVEN HARD ENOUGH ON THE TRACK, ALL 911 BRAKES CAN OVERHEAT!
True of ANY car!
5. ALL 911s WILL WEAR OUT TIRES FASTER THAN ANYTHING SHORT OF A VIPER!
Doubt if that's true - quiz Mustang and Camaro numnuts who hit the dragstrip or owners of old Iacocca K-cars.
6. NO MATTER WHERE OR HOW YOU PARK, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GET A DOOR DING!
True on ANY car that's driven. Dad once had a '67 Buick Riviera which was his pride and joy. He still parked it away from anybody even when it was 10 years old. Once when parking at a country store at the far end of the lot he looked back at it before entering the store - just in time to see someone in a van back into the side of it. Dad ran back and promptly got into a shouting match with the perpetrator (who came up with arguments like "what are you complaining about - it's an old car!". How there wasn't a murder in that lot I don't know.
Also: once parked my silver '76 911S in a bar parking lot (way in the back). I came back to find that somebody had keyed the rear quarter pillar!
7. NO MATTER WHAT PROTECTION YOU USE, SHORT OF A FULL BODY CONDOM, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GET STONE CHIPS!
True on ANY car.
8. NO MATTER WHAT MODIFICATIONS YOU INSTALL, SOMEONE WITH A LESSER CAR IS ALWAYS FASTER THAN YOU ON THE TRACK!
Agree - the biggest impactor on performance is the nut behind the wheel.
9. THE 911 HAS THE MOST COMPLEX PROCEDURE TO CHECK ENGINE OIL LEVEL OF ANY DEVICE EVER BUILT!
Possibly - but at least I don't have to wait several minutes after getting out of the car in order to check oil level (Audi requires checking oil level hot but waiting several minutes after shutting off the engine).
10. ALL 911s LEFT THE FACTORY AS RACE CARS!
So did the 356's. I remember advertising saying "Every Porsche ever built was a race car". I think they stopped that when they largely started pumping water.
The ignition switch on the left side of the dash is there for faster engie firings during old-fashioned Le Mans starts, so I'm told.
However, ncie story, Fred!
1. ALL 911s USE OIL!
Potentially no more than "standard" cars that pump water. I can go 3K miles between oil additions, and this is on the 993 or my Audi A4.
2. ALL 911s LEAK OIL!
BAT GUANO!!!!!! 993 is tight as a drum - no leaks exc. for what I drop when doing a oil/filter change (and this is at 72K miles)!
3. AT SOME TIME, ALL 911 BRAKES WILL SQUEAL!
Likely true - also likely true on other hi perf. sports cars.
4. DRIVEN HARD ENOUGH ON THE TRACK, ALL 911 BRAKES CAN OVERHEAT!
True of ANY car!
5. ALL 911s WILL WEAR OUT TIRES FASTER THAN ANYTHING SHORT OF A VIPER!
Doubt if that's true - quiz Mustang and Camaro numnuts who hit the dragstrip or owners of old Iacocca K-cars.
6. NO MATTER WHERE OR HOW YOU PARK, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GET A DOOR DING!
True on ANY car that's driven. Dad once had a '67 Buick Riviera which was his pride and joy. He still parked it away from anybody even when it was 10 years old. Once when parking at a country store at the far end of the lot he looked back at it before entering the store - just in time to see someone in a van back into the side of it. Dad ran back and promptly got into a shouting match with the perpetrator (who came up with arguments like "what are you complaining about - it's an old car!". How there wasn't a murder in that lot I don't know.
Also: once parked my silver '76 911S in a bar parking lot (way in the back). I came back to find that somebody had keyed the rear quarter pillar!
7. NO MATTER WHAT PROTECTION YOU USE, SHORT OF A FULL BODY CONDOM, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GET STONE CHIPS!
True on ANY car.
8. NO MATTER WHAT MODIFICATIONS YOU INSTALL, SOMEONE WITH A LESSER CAR IS ALWAYS FASTER THAN YOU ON THE TRACK!
Agree - the biggest impactor on performance is the nut behind the wheel.
9. THE 911 HAS THE MOST COMPLEX PROCEDURE TO CHECK ENGINE OIL LEVEL OF ANY DEVICE EVER BUILT!
Possibly - but at least I don't have to wait several minutes after getting out of the car in order to check oil level (Audi requires checking oil level hot but waiting several minutes after shutting off the engine).
10. ALL 911s LEFT THE FACTORY AS RACE CARS!
So did the 356's. I remember advertising saying "Every Porsche ever built was a race car". I think they stopped that when they largely started pumping water.
The ignition switch on the left side of the dash is there for faster engie firings during old-fashioned Le Mans starts, so I'm told.
However, ncie story, Fred!
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01-31-2003, 07:32 PM
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It all started with that darn poster "Kills Bugs Fast". From there, I went down hard. I was hooked big time... The thought of a car killing bugs fast, with a huge whale tail on it and a Turbo engine was too heady for me to resist.
Oh yeah - I need Porscheaholics alright. I check this sight like 10 times a day. I'm a mess. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> I've got a disease, and it starts with the letter P.
Steve
Oh yeah - I need Porscheaholics alright. I check this sight like 10 times a day. I'm a mess. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> I've got a disease, and it starts with the letter P.
Steve
01-31-2003, 10:35 PM
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana,Tahoma,Arial,Helvetica,Geneva">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana,Tahoma,Arial,Helvetica,Geneva">Originally posted by Ray Calvo:
<strong>2. ALL 911s LEAK OIL!
BAT GUANO!!!!!! 993 is tight as a drum - no leaks exc. for what I drop when doing a oil/filter change (and this is at 72K miles)!
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana,Tahoma,Arial,Helvetica,Geneva">Neither does my 993 - or is the dripping oil collecting atop of the engine under-tray?
<strong>2. ALL 911s LEAK OIL!
BAT GUANO!!!!!! 993 is tight as a drum - no leaks exc. for what I drop when doing a oil/filter change (and this is at 72K miles)!
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana,Tahoma,Arial,Helvetica,Geneva">Neither does my 993 - or is the dripping oil collecting atop of the engine under-tray?
02-01-2003, 12:50 PM
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Fun post. My engine tray is gone and my garage floor is dry under my 69,000 mile daily driver '97 993 Cab. Car consumes about 2 quarts between 7500 mile oil changes.
02-01-2003, 10:12 PM
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Dear Dr. Fred, As with any obessional illness/disorder do you think we progress through phases as the addiction/pathology (in the case of P-Cars, quite healty with the exception of the pocket book)? For example, upon close self-analysis/introspection (in private with the doors closed, of course) I realized the following sequence of events leading up to the purchase of my 993:
1. Everytime time I saw a Porsche, especially a 993, I droolled heavily. Oral Stage?
2. After droolling all over myself and the car I then began to have an incredible urge to hold back/retain my bodily function to avoid public embarrassment and save my money to buy such a car. Ah....**** Retentive until I spent the money then I became **** Explosive, what a mess, packages arriving everyday from Gert and the like.....
3. Then I became more aware of my urge/lusting desire to possess a P-Car. After buying my 993 everytime I looked at it, sat in it or drove it, my state of arousal was heightened beyond description, with particular sensitivity to certian areas of my body....OH MY, Stop don't Stop.......But I also started to have a strange attraction to other P-Cars like the turbo which I think deep down represented my Mother but I was afraid to buy one because of Dad....So I became like him...
Weird eh???
4. Then a period of quiesscence...No worries or conflicts just a sense of satisfaction (The Stones were wrong....I can get satifaction!!!)..Short lived.
5. Now I long for independence....Adulthood to be capped off by a 993TT.....Time to let my ID run free.....Engulf my self in my primary narcissism....damn shame guilt and remorse...who needs reality beyond a 993 screaming down the front straight of Road America....
Well Doc, what do I do now? I ain't got no conscience and my decisions certainly aren't reality based......
Twizzle Twazzle Twozzle Doe (check spelling) Time for this one to come home.
Loose associations and ramblings of a Porscholic
time for another round....of medication that is...150 mph will do....
1. Everytime time I saw a Porsche, especially a 993, I droolled heavily. Oral Stage?
2. After droolling all over myself and the car I then began to have an incredible urge to hold back/retain my bodily function to avoid public embarrassment and save my money to buy such a car. Ah....**** Retentive until I spent the money then I became **** Explosive, what a mess, packages arriving everyday from Gert and the like.....
3. Then I became more aware of my urge/lusting desire to possess a P-Car. After buying my 993 everytime I looked at it, sat in it or drove it, my state of arousal was heightened beyond description, with particular sensitivity to certian areas of my body....OH MY, Stop don't Stop.......But I also started to have a strange attraction to other P-Cars like the turbo which I think deep down represented my Mother but I was afraid to buy one because of Dad....So I became like him...
Weird eh???
4. Then a period of quiesscence...No worries or conflicts just a sense of satisfaction (The Stones were wrong....I can get satifaction!!!)..Short lived.
5. Now I long for independence....Adulthood to be capped off by a 993TT.....Time to let my ID run free.....Engulf my self in my primary narcissism....damn shame guilt and remorse...who needs reality beyond a 993 screaming down the front straight of Road America....
Well Doc, what do I do now? I ain't got no conscience and my decisions certainly aren't reality based......
Twizzle Twazzle Twozzle Doe (check spelling) Time for this one to come home.
Loose associations and ramblings of a Porscholic
time for another round....of medication that is...150 mph will do....
02-02-2003, 08:52 AM
#14
No one has mentioned this yet. Most Porsche owners, after parking in a parking lot's hinterland, can walk no more than 40 feet or so without stopping and turning around to admire their beauty. The Porsche owner might actually walk backwards several steps before contining his foot journey to the store with that little smile of extreme pleasure. Happens to me everytime I go shopping, even after 12 years of P-car ownership!!
Chuck
93 C2
Chuck
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02-02-2003, 11:43 AM
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Chuck..........Great observation. I've embarrassed myself a number of times looking at my car rather than where I'm going.....Gotta love them P-Cars........Leading Daytona makes it all the more a pleasure to own one...