R.Deacon

+1 , good call , will follow that call as well to my M.

pitt911

Glad every thing worked out
those of us that work in the medical profession have seen and lived this for a long time
I am a big advocate of care at home rather than care at a NH or rehab facility. Unfortunately , care at home requires a lot of work and help from family members and a lot of families can't or won't do the work so this what led to expansion of NH facilities. Though , some facilities are really bad and others are slightly better. Part of that saga is directly connected to medicare rules and trying to get patients out of the hospital asap. In such an acute situation like your mom's , probably an infection which led to confusion and then led to a fall , a 5 day stay at hospital and then dc home with some home health care might have been a better way to go. But hospitals payment from medicare is very limited , so every one rushes discharge/transfer and that leads to situation like yours.
Hope your mom will have a full recovery

Mlbraptor

Reading this post brings tears to my eyes. I went through the same thing with my Dad, then my Mom. I am glad you got her out and found her a better place. Wishing you're Mom a speedy recovery.

JPMD

As a practicing physician I can say this essentially nails it. Not only applies to medicare but all insurances; terrible.

Glad you Mom is doing better. It's a blessing to have a family that loves and cares for each other.

Best of luck.

-eztrader-

Rob. Best wishes to you and your family

SamFromTX

Rob, thank you for sharing this. Hopefully your mom gets strong quick so she can be home soon. You're a good son.

robmypro

Thanks for the kind words, guys. I really appreciate it. Now that this ordeal is over, I feel the emotions. It was really brutal, and I consider myself pretty impervious to drama. I think the unexpected events of her being hospitalized, combined with this trauma just got me. So many things I didn't even mention, like the guy at the nurse's station saying "kill me nurse" over and over, or the people just walking around in circles, talking to themselves and unable to get out of the traffic jams they created. You could hear the screams in the distance every minute or so. People wandering into our room, most of them in the wrong place asking strange questions like "where's my list?" The volume of these voices was almost nonstop, and it was especially bad when my mom was asleep, and I was there alone. It wears you down pretty quickly, seeing and hearing nonstop insanity.

It was a shocking experience. One I will never forget. I feel bad for the people who work there, and for those sane people who are stuck in there. It is a real nightmare.

Well, heading back to see how mom is doing. Then I fly back to Colorado in the morning, and see how her rehab goes from there. Fingers crossed that she can go home in a week or so. If the weather is nice tomorrow I am definitely going for a spirited drive. I miss my car.

rodsky

OMG. Thanks for sharing. Wishing you the best for your Mom. You're a good son.

R.Deacon

^^Rob impressive you share here such trauma ,it will be a drive well earned,
And thoughts for a return to peace for you and yours

Sloopy

Bet of luck. Unfortunately many places are over crowded and under staffed. I had to place my mother some years ago and was one of the hardest things I had to do. We also had to move her from the first but nothing like what you experienced.

My oldest daughter was way more understanding and able to cope with this better than myself. Those who staff these places have to be special people to be able to handle the worst and still be able to sleep at night. Most feel as though they are doing Gods work.

While there is never a best answer I would advise anyone who is unfortunately looking at aging parents and loved ones; it's best to plan ahead. There are some better facilities out there so few have to go though what you have.

All the best in the future.

allans

Rob, Please accept my sincerest best wishes and Prayers for your Mom and Family, and for all who suffer in their latter years. Your story is humbling to read and delivers a powerful message to those of us who are so fortunate. Best, Allan

4carl

Rob reading your story brought back memories of my mother who spent the last eight years of her life in a nursing home. Even though it was better than what you do described it still was incredibly depressing. You did the right thing you should feel good about that. your mother is very fortunate to have a caring son like you . Carl

Just in time

Rob, good luck in this saga. As our parents get older all of us ultimately have to face situations/decisions related to their (failing) health. I went exactly what you are describing with my mom a short few years ago. A fall led to hip replacement surgery, followed by confusion, dementia (anesthesia related?). Nursing home, long term care, and regretfully her ultimate loss. I am sure there are many professionals in your area who should be able to help. Wishing you the best outcome.

CAlexio

I don't know if I'll feel differently when im older if I'm incapacitated but still mentally aware, but I think I'd ask for the gun or the cyanide pill or whatever is easiest and say goodbye.

Manifold

Thanks for sharing this very sobering story.

Mental health issues can be as debilitating as any physical health issues, and our society needs to do a better job of addressing them, IMO.

Moms are special. I lost my mom a decade ago when she was only 67, and the loss still hurts. I really miss her.

Best wishes to you and your family.