A LITTLE LEVITY...
08-30-2015, 06:09 PM
#1
Nordschleife Master
Thread Starter
A LITTLE LEVITY...
An oldie, but still funny. Thought a little levity needed in light of the 928 insult thread. Found it in my Rennlist folder.
This is just for fun everyone ...let me know if I offended anyone and I will edit post.
You know you're a 928 owner if....
You can replace your heater control valve blindfolded
You know what part number 928-574-573-03-M53 is (for those who don’t yet, see previous statement)
The easiest/quickest way to get rid of that befuddled look that a new acquaintance has when you mention you have a Porsche 928 is, asking them if they remember the movie “Risky Business” with Tom Cruise (then you cross your fingers that you don’t have to cringe when they say, “Is that the movie where the car chase scene has Booger from Revenge of the Nerds in the back seat”?)
You keep 2-4 #53 relays, 1 LH relay and an assortment of fuses inside a sandwich bag in your glove compartment
You don’t have to search the forums to find out why your speeds 1-3 quit on your fan control and only position 4 works…you instantly know and are actually trying to remember where in your garage you stashed your back-up blower motor resistor pack
It doesn’t bother you that some posts/replies on Rennlist don’t have a last name included when referencing a 928 parts-goodies supplier/problem solver… examples; John, Roger, Tony, Veronique, Jeanie, Carl, Rich, Paul, Hans, Louis, Bill, etc…sorry if I left out anyone.
You’ve ever argued with your spouse to name your son Ferdinand, Ferry or Fuhrmann…then settled to use Ferdinand as his middle name
A magical weekend getaway to you would be to tour the hallowed grounds of Zuffenhausen
You’ve enlisted the help of a 5-7 year old (because of their small hands) to work on your 928…especially when putting back the “anti-slim-jim” metal covering when replacing the outer door handle piece that breaks at the most inopportune time.
You nearly passed out the first time you heard how much a replacement radiator costs
You’ve spent a lazy afternoon or two, listening to 928 exhaust clips on YouTube…and/or 928 burn-out vids
You nearly have the same level of excitement viewing finished project images on Paul’s site as you used to have viewing “adult” images
When you see a group photo of Porsches at a meet on any site or in any magazine, you instantly try to find/count the 928’s in the photo…can usually be done on one hand
Your meaning of “rare sighting” doesn’t involve UFO’s and such…a rare sighting to you is spotting another 928 on the road
You’ve ever spent 3-4 hours each weekday evening researching a 928 issue on Rennlist and spending the entire weekend fixing the issue…all to avoid going to the local Porsche repair place (if you are even lucky to have one) and having to admit to it…Ohhh, and you saved $200 they would have charged you.
If you are at a Porsche event and you hear the word “pig” whispered anywhere around you, them are fight’n words…especially if the guy saying it has a sweater tied around his neck
When you meet with fellow 928 club members at the local Hooters, you spend more time looking and talking about your cars than about the waitresses
If the final question to you on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” was, “What car model was SOLD between 1977 and 1995?” you’d be a millionaire!…plus proud because, only about .0003% of the population could answer that question correctly
You’ve ever spent 20 minutes typing your new post question “key words” in the forum search bar (6 different ways) and read 10-15 threads, just to avoid the Newbie-Walk-of-Shame because within 3 nano seconds of you hitting the “submit” button, a Rennlister replies to your post with 2-3 links to a similar thread. (Wouldn’t it be ironic if my post already had been done with similar material and I didn’t find it in my searches?)
You had to take a quick crash course on wheels/off-sets/tires on forums to figure out the meanest wheels/tires that will fit your 928 without expensive spacers and fender rolling…only to find out you have fewer choices than a guy who owns a 1965 Peugeot
You ever tried to fix an idle issue by spraying LDS or WD-40 in the tube leading to the ICV
You can’t point to your state capital on an un-marked map, but you can point to the 12 ground points on your 928
You can’t easily remember your spouse’s birthday, but you know the exact model number of your spark plugs and approximately when they need to be changed again
You still have trouble remembering what BTW, IMO and such stand for, but you know what TBF, WSM, MAF, LH, RMB, etc. stand for immediately
You only turned on the radio 3 times in the first 45 days after your first exhaust alteration from stock (usually the install of the RMB)
You spend more time turning on the kick down bypass switch than you do your radio
You’ve ever spent 5 minutes trying to stabilize a button cover, wire and 2 watch batteries on top of a wiggly spring, while trying to close your lighted key cover after you converted it to LED
If your Avatar or any password contains the word/s: 928 or shark
You can’t remember your anniversary, but you know the next time you need to check your flex plate and when to replace your timing belt
You had to research if the arrow was correctly positioned on your air filter the first time you replaced it
You’ve ever wondered whose bright idea it was to locate the ICV under the intake
You have a hush of momentary (mental) silence for appreciation/admiration/respect if John Speake gives advice in one of your posts
You don’t even bother anymore to see if the local car parts chain store has a basic part in stock…you just order it from one of the big four
You know who the big four are…
You take your own new oil filter to the quick lube place, because you know they won’t have one in stock
You realize you can’t forward this “post” to anyone that doesn’t have a 928…they just won’t get it
You have at least 5GB of stuff in your computer in a folder named “928”…or similar…and you are going to save a PDF of this post (below) in it because so many things ring true
This is just for fun everyone ...let me know if I offended anyone and I will edit post.
You know you're a 928 owner if....
You can replace your heater control valve blindfolded
You know what part number 928-574-573-03-M53 is (for those who don’t yet, see previous statement)
The easiest/quickest way to get rid of that befuddled look that a new acquaintance has when you mention you have a Porsche 928 is, asking them if they remember the movie “Risky Business” with Tom Cruise (then you cross your fingers that you don’t have to cringe when they say, “Is that the movie where the car chase scene has Booger from Revenge of the Nerds in the back seat”?)
You keep 2-4 #53 relays, 1 LH relay and an assortment of fuses inside a sandwich bag in your glove compartment
You don’t have to search the forums to find out why your speeds 1-3 quit on your fan control and only position 4 works…you instantly know and are actually trying to remember where in your garage you stashed your back-up blower motor resistor pack
It doesn’t bother you that some posts/replies on Rennlist don’t have a last name included when referencing a 928 parts-goodies supplier/problem solver… examples; John, Roger, Tony, Veronique, Jeanie, Carl, Rich, Paul, Hans, Louis, Bill, etc…sorry if I left out anyone.
You’ve ever argued with your spouse to name your son Ferdinand, Ferry or Fuhrmann…then settled to use Ferdinand as his middle name
A magical weekend getaway to you would be to tour the hallowed grounds of Zuffenhausen
You’ve enlisted the help of a 5-7 year old (because of their small hands) to work on your 928…especially when putting back the “anti-slim-jim” metal covering when replacing the outer door handle piece that breaks at the most inopportune time.
You nearly passed out the first time you heard how much a replacement radiator costs
You’ve spent a lazy afternoon or two, listening to 928 exhaust clips on YouTube…and/or 928 burn-out vids
You nearly have the same level of excitement viewing finished project images on Paul’s site as you used to have viewing “adult” images
When you see a group photo of Porsches at a meet on any site or in any magazine, you instantly try to find/count the 928’s in the photo…can usually be done on one hand
Your meaning of “rare sighting” doesn’t involve UFO’s and such…a rare sighting to you is spotting another 928 on the road
You’ve ever spent 3-4 hours each weekday evening researching a 928 issue on Rennlist and spending the entire weekend fixing the issue…all to avoid going to the local Porsche repair place (if you are even lucky to have one) and having to admit to it…Ohhh, and you saved $200 they would have charged you.
If you are at a Porsche event and you hear the word “pig” whispered anywhere around you, them are fight’n words…especially if the guy saying it has a sweater tied around his neck
When you meet with fellow 928 club members at the local Hooters, you spend more time looking and talking about your cars than about the waitresses
If the final question to you on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” was, “What car model was SOLD between 1977 and 1995?” you’d be a millionaire!…plus proud because, only about .0003% of the population could answer that question correctly
You’ve ever spent 20 minutes typing your new post question “key words” in the forum search bar (6 different ways) and read 10-15 threads, just to avoid the Newbie-Walk-of-Shame because within 3 nano seconds of you hitting the “submit” button, a Rennlister replies to your post with 2-3 links to a similar thread. (Wouldn’t it be ironic if my post already had been done with similar material and I didn’t find it in my searches?)
You had to take a quick crash course on wheels/off-sets/tires on forums to figure out the meanest wheels/tires that will fit your 928 without expensive spacers and fender rolling…only to find out you have fewer choices than a guy who owns a 1965 Peugeot
You ever tried to fix an idle issue by spraying LDS or WD-40 in the tube leading to the ICV
You can’t point to your state capital on an un-marked map, but you can point to the 12 ground points on your 928
You can’t easily remember your spouse’s birthday, but you know the exact model number of your spark plugs and approximately when they need to be changed again
You still have trouble remembering what BTW, IMO and such stand for, but you know what TBF, WSM, MAF, LH, RMB, etc. stand for immediately
You only turned on the radio 3 times in the first 45 days after your first exhaust alteration from stock (usually the install of the RMB)
You spend more time turning on the kick down bypass switch than you do your radio
You’ve ever spent 5 minutes trying to stabilize a button cover, wire and 2 watch batteries on top of a wiggly spring, while trying to close your lighted key cover after you converted it to LED
If your Avatar or any password contains the word/s: 928 or shark
You can’t remember your anniversary, but you know the next time you need to check your flex plate and when to replace your timing belt
You had to research if the arrow was correctly positioned on your air filter the first time you replaced it
You’ve ever wondered whose bright idea it was to locate the ICV under the intake
You have a hush of momentary (mental) silence for appreciation/admiration/respect if John Speake gives advice in one of your posts
You don’t even bother anymore to see if the local car parts chain store has a basic part in stock…you just order it from one of the big four
You know who the big four are…
You take your own new oil filter to the quick lube place, because you know they won’t have one in stock
You realize you can’t forward this “post” to anyone that doesn’t have a 928…they just won’t get it
You have at least 5GB of stuff in your computer in a folder named “928”…or similar…and you are going to save a PDF of this post (below) in it because so many things ring true
08-30-2015, 07:03 PM
#2
Saved....
to folder called "928stuff"
on my desktop
very funny, true for what my experience has been over 1 yr 1 mo, and thanks.
Dan
to folder called "928stuff"
on my desktop
very funny, true for what my experience has been over 1 yr 1 mo, and thanks.
Dan
08-30-2015, 08:56 PM
#4
Rennlist Member
A personal one from my ~5 months of ownership:
You hold Dwayne's write-ups as gospel, and you spend many hours reading them for their attention to detail, their at-times humor and the educational content of them, even if you won't be doing the work anytime soon (rear boot replacement, motor mounts).
You hold Dwayne's write-ups as gospel, and you spend many hours reading them for their attention to detail, their at-times humor and the educational content of them, even if you won't be doing the work anytime soon (rear boot replacement, motor mounts).
08-30-2015, 10:19 PM
#5
Rennlist Member
A personal one from my ~5 months of ownership:
You hold Dwayne's write-ups as gospel, and you spend many hours reading them for their attention to detail, their at-times humor and the educational content of them, even if you won't be doing the work anytime soon (rear boot replacement, motor mounts).
You hold Dwayne's write-ups as gospel, and you spend many hours reading them for their attention to detail, their at-times humor and the educational content of them, even if you won't be doing the work anytime soon (rear boot replacement, motor mounts).
08-30-2015, 10:30 PM
#6
Archive Gatekeeper
Rennlist Member
Rennlist Member
Lordy, made me look-
29GB of 928 files, exclusive of pictures.
26,093 pictures, 60GB
29GB of 928 files, exclusive of pictures.
26,093 pictures, 60GB
Trending Topics
08-31-2015, 08:55 AM
#9
Rennlist Member
A personal one from my ~5 months of ownership:
You hold Dwayne's write-ups as gospel, and you spend many hours reading them for their attention to detail, their at-times humor and the educational content of them, even if you won't be doing the work anytime soon (rear boot replacement, motor mounts).
You hold Dwayne's write-ups as gospel, and you spend many hours reading them for their attention to detail, their at-times humor and the educational content of them, even if you won't be doing the work anytime soon (rear boot replacement, motor mounts).
08-31-2015, 09:38 AM
#10
Instructor
Your bathroom (Throne Room) has a library of WSM print outs
You have a framed print of Alan's fuse chart on your bathroom wall
You have a framed print of Alan's fuse chart on your bathroom wall
08-31-2015, 10:22 AM
#11
Nordschleife Master
Thread Starter
08-31-2015, 12:33 PM
#14
Rennlist Member
08-31-2015, 12:52 PM
#15
I have grown accustomed to the
"incense" of PB Blaster out in the "temple"
LOL ! ! ! ! !
"incense" of PB Blaster out in the "temple"
LOL ! ! ! ! !