That Hood Is Stronger Than It Looks...
07-07-2002, 04:42 AM
#1
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That Hood Is Stronger Than It Looks...
THOUGH I don't consider myself photogenic...some people do and on occasion I have had some pictures taken...professionally.
-Believe it or not, I've probably been in most of your mailboxes at one time, not that I'm proud of it. If you've ever had a Wal-Mart sheet show up in your mailbox, you've probably seen pix of me in over-starched clothes that make me itch. A side lite for me.
Well, I had some time today and jumpseated to Orlando. My poor answering machine was about to go thermal- everyone and his brother was calling me because I'm attending the same school in Miami where Saddam Hussein's step-son was arrested, and everyone wanted to know about it.
[I know nothing; I just know my shark is 231 miles away-]
Well, my agent was on there and wanted me YESTERDAY- I called him and found out a couple hundred $ were in my future if I could get to Winter Park in 20 minutes.
19 minutes later, I pulled "Jett Lag" into the lot. Considering Orlando's traffic, this is a major score...
Anyway, they were standing outside the shop smoking their nasty cigarettes when I pulled up-
Suddenly the attention turned to the car. Whispers and round eyeballs- quick hand gestures... "What do you think?".... the usual shlt~
I'm like "Ok...what are you talking about?" As I step out of the car.
"Hey man, step inside for a second, we want to talk to you-"
I've seen this before. The "lets talk him into it" dance. They start out sounding so professional, as if they have NO ulterior motives at all, then they SLOWLY and EASILY lead you into it- kind of like a boat going into the water.
So I step into the building, the air conditioning is numbing cold. Of course, they don't know I care not what pix are taken of me. In fact it is sport to see how far they go. They are like-
"Dat car is DA BOMB! Dude, we wanna get some pics of you with it!" The baggy-britched Puerto Rican from New York says. "You gonna help us out wit this?"
I'm like "Yeah, if you want...what do you have in mind?"
"Uh, man, the usual stuff... you on the seats, and you gonna take the shorts off for us?" Which means this is porno shoot.
~I knew it.
Anyway, after mentally evaluating the effect on my BRAND NEW leather seats of my bare rear, I decide that it probably would not have any deleterious effects. I wiped the Secret antiperspirant flakes off the seat prior to the shoot-I wonder how bad this stuff is for the leather....
So about 45 shots into the shoot, they stop and start confering. Not a good sign. A few minutes later, they are like...
"We want you laying on the hood... spread legged to show the emblem-"
YEAH AH Hah hah-
"Sure you will- lay me on my 9 pound aluminum hood! I don't think so-"
They say "Well, come on- it cannot be a hood and not hold you! If you want, we will LAY you on it. We have a piece of cloth that won't show up on the film, and nothing will happen."
So I'm like "Ok, well...if you lay me down... the first noise I hear from it and I'm DONE!" They agreed.
So these two friggin huge muscle guys came out of nowhere and grabbed me and laid me on the hood slowly, with this tiny cross shaped piece of cloth beneath me. As advertised....their photographer was pretty good!
So bear this in mind~ our 9 pound hoods can handle 140 pound persons laying across them! I was concerned about flexing....
I'd post the pix they took here, but they are not rated "G" at all-
Normy!
'85 S2 5 speed!
-Believe it or not, I've probably been in most of your mailboxes at one time, not that I'm proud of it. If you've ever had a Wal-Mart sheet show up in your mailbox, you've probably seen pix of me in over-starched clothes that make me itch. A side lite for me.
Well, I had some time today and jumpseated to Orlando. My poor answering machine was about to go thermal- everyone and his brother was calling me because I'm attending the same school in Miami where Saddam Hussein's step-son was arrested, and everyone wanted to know about it.
[I know nothing; I just know my shark is 231 miles away-]
Well, my agent was on there and wanted me YESTERDAY- I called him and found out a couple hundred $ were in my future if I could get to Winter Park in 20 minutes.
19 minutes later, I pulled "Jett Lag" into the lot. Considering Orlando's traffic, this is a major score...
Anyway, they were standing outside the shop smoking their nasty cigarettes when I pulled up-
Suddenly the attention turned to the car. Whispers and round eyeballs- quick hand gestures... "What do you think?".... the usual shlt~
I'm like "Ok...what are you talking about?" As I step out of the car.
"Hey man, step inside for a second, we want to talk to you-"
I've seen this before. The "lets talk him into it" dance. They start out sounding so professional, as if they have NO ulterior motives at all, then they SLOWLY and EASILY lead you into it- kind of like a boat going into the water.
So I step into the building, the air conditioning is numbing cold. Of course, they don't know I care not what pix are taken of me. In fact it is sport to see how far they go. They are like-
"Dat car is DA BOMB! Dude, we wanna get some pics of you with it!" The baggy-britched Puerto Rican from New York says. "You gonna help us out wit this?"
I'm like "Yeah, if you want...what do you have in mind?"
"Uh, man, the usual stuff... you on the seats, and you gonna take the shorts off for us?" Which means this is porno shoot.
~I knew it.
Anyway, after mentally evaluating the effect on my BRAND NEW leather seats of my bare rear, I decide that it probably would not have any deleterious effects. I wiped the Secret antiperspirant flakes off the seat prior to the shoot-I wonder how bad this stuff is for the leather....
So about 45 shots into the shoot, they stop and start confering. Not a good sign. A few minutes later, they are like...
"We want you laying on the hood... spread legged to show the emblem-"
YEAH AH Hah hah-
"Sure you will- lay me on my 9 pound aluminum hood! I don't think so-"
They say "Well, come on- it cannot be a hood and not hold you! If you want, we will LAY you on it. We have a piece of cloth that won't show up on the film, and nothing will happen."
So I'm like "Ok, well...if you lay me down... the first noise I hear from it and I'm DONE!" They agreed.
So these two friggin huge muscle guys came out of nowhere and grabbed me and laid me on the hood slowly, with this tiny cross shaped piece of cloth beneath me. As advertised....their photographer was pretty good!
So bear this in mind~ our 9 pound hoods can handle 140 pound persons laying across them! I was concerned about flexing....
I'd post the pix they took here, but they are not rated "G" at all-
Normy!
'85 S2 5 speed!
07-07-2002, 09:46 AM
#3
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Wow. Normy! Are we going to see the results of this shoot? It's OK - Our moderator Randy already proved that nudidy is OK on this board (see the "wives" thread)... 
Just kidding!
Well, at least you did not itch from too much starch, did you?
One day, two young girls from my neighborhood kept hanging around while I washed the 928. So I offered to take a picture with them and the car. I went inside to get the camera, and suddenly heard one of the girls' father scream at them.
Turns out they had decided to climb onto the hood with their sneakers (both of them, about 8 years old at the time). By the time I came back, they were off already, but nothing was damaged. Thank god Porsche does not use the same aluminum they use for soda cans...
Just kidding!
Well, at least you did not itch from too much starch, did you?
One day, two young girls from my neighborhood kept hanging around while I washed the 928. So I offered to take a picture with them and the car. I went inside to get the camera, and suddenly heard one of the girls' father scream at them.
Turns out they had decided to climb onto the hood with their sneakers (both of them, about 8 years old at the time). By the time I came back, they were off already, but nothing was damaged. Thank god Porsche does not use the same aluminum they use for soda cans...
07-07-2002, 02:44 PM
#6
Norm,
Puhleese..... I'm eatin' here!
And besides it's Sunday, you ****! <img src="graemlins/roflmao.gif" border="0" alt="[hiha]" />
John S.
P.S. Who's your manager? For a friend, honest!
Keep an Eye out for the Porsche Police they frown on that sort of stuff being 'hung' on the MARQUE.
Puhleese..... I'm eatin' here!
And besides it's Sunday, you ****! <img src="graemlins/roflmao.gif" border="0" alt="[hiha]" />
John S.
P.S. Who's your manager? For a friend, honest!
Keep an Eye out for the Porsche Police they frown on that sort of stuff being 'hung' on the MARQUE.
07-07-2002, 02:53 PM
#7
Burning Brakes
Please God Normy - be a female.......
It would really mess me up today to think I read a thread about a man spread eagle, butt naked across the hood of a shark.
I think I'm goona hurl
It would really mess me up today to think I read a thread about a man spread eagle, butt naked across the hood of a shark.
I think I'm goona hurl
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07-07-2002, 03:12 PM
#8
We had a choice?
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Normy,
One thing is for sure, Your posts are never boring! Hang in there. (pun intended)
Anthony Tate
79/928 Silver Metallic
One thing is for sure, Your posts are never boring! Hang in there. (pun intended)
Anthony Tate
79/928 Silver Metallic
07-07-2002, 04:54 PM
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I read Normy's post a few times but I think she gives it away with the Secret antiperspirant, strong enough for a man but made for a woman. On the other hand all the other references in the letter, "dude" and "let's talk him into it" don't sound to hopeful.
07-07-2002, 06:11 PM
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Normy,
Now that I’ve cleaned up the BARF and downed a shot of Patron Tequila to help wipe out any conceived visuals of your hood moment I say…FIRE YOUR AGENT! A hood shot get’s at least $750 here in Los Angeles!!!
Normy! I’m really damaged here! I mean now I’m afraid to check my MALEbox in fear of seeing your naked %$#@ on my free sample of moist towlet’s not to mention that song with the lyrics “my brother got shot in the Wal-Mart parking lot” (Shawn Colvin)? That song will never be the same to me. Well, gotta go, dialing the therapist.
Tim Delarm
<img src="graemlins/c.gif" border="0" alt="[ouch]" />
Now that I’ve cleaned up the BARF and downed a shot of Patron Tequila to help wipe out any conceived visuals of your hood moment I say…FIRE YOUR AGENT! A hood shot get’s at least $750 here in Los Angeles!!!
Normy! I’m really damaged here! I mean now I’m afraid to check my MALEbox in fear of seeing your naked %$#@ on my free sample of moist towlet’s not to mention that song with the lyrics “my brother got shot in the Wal-Mart parking lot” (Shawn Colvin)? That song will never be the same to me. Well, gotta go, dialing the therapist.
Tim Delarm
<img src="graemlins/c.gif" border="0" alt="[ouch]" />