billybones

You need a Tom Lykus 101 class.. First 2 women a mess.. You can not fix them, They will not change.. move on to 3. Then make sure she does not need a fixxin.. Take a look inside and try and figure out why you attract these type of women.. I attract the same. Been married 2 times to these types.. and divorced 2 times.. So I speak from experience. The thing I figured out was go out with the woman you are not so attracted to.. You will be shocked.. HTH. Oy yeah burnt rubber smell clutch.. GOOD LUCK..

Sami951

[quote]Originally posted by 944S Boyeee:
<strong>...I'm a saint when it comes to how I treat them - why else would two hot girls have anything to do with me? I'm a really great guy and have been a super-friend to both of them...</strong><hr></blockquote>

Actually, a lot of guys have found out that strangely enough this is exactly what most of the women don't want. I've seen it first hand (being a nice guy myself), and also witnessed the same phenomena going on with a lot of friends whenever they're dating somebody (yes, all of my friends are also nice guys)

Usually the explanation goes something like "yeah, nice guys are great, but they're just too boring" ... <img src="graemlins/c.gif" border="0" alt="[ouch]" /> ... too weird, so I stopped worrying about it and now I just concentrate on driving the P-car.

kasturbo

"Ex #2 is the ex-exotic dancer who I was dating 5 years ago (pics of her are available at the Pelican Board under the topic "Raced a Jeep last night, guess what happened" - sorry, no nudes, but still very nice pics...)"

Do you have a link to this? I got lost looking for it and it may really help with my choice as to what you should do! <img src="graemlins/drink.gif" border="0" alt="[cherrsagai]" />

Peckster

I love this forum...where else can you go from cranks to camus in 60 seconds?

So, Bigporscheguy39, what exactly do you do for a living, if you don't mind me asking? And are there 38 others of you?

BigPorscheGuy39

If you're in on the next open fun run with PCA UCR Peckster I'll introduce myself...

BigPorscheGirl38

I am bigguy's GF (sorry, I have no nick name in here)...he is PhD in psychology..that's why he likes to talk so much...Please forgive him when you think he is harsh! And in the same time please understand what I have to go through with him!!!! HELP! HELP!....
p.s. it's good once in a while to turn to him and ask him for advice. He knows so much and he is always motivated by good intentions.

PrerYDoG

I also bet he's a bitch to play Trivia Pursuit against


I know his type

Jeff928S4

Por951Turbo,

Here is a link - the pics start on page 2 or 3 I think....

<a href="http://forums.pelicanparts.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=62631&perpage=20&highlight=jeep&pagenumber=1" target="_blank">http://forums.pelicanparts.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=62631&perpage=20&highlight=jeep&pagenumber=1</a>

944S Boyeee

Jeff928S4

I would like to thanks all for making my heart settle concerning the car. I'm so happy it's "only" a burning clutch. I was very, very worried it could be something a tad more drastic.

I have noticed that the car is driving better since Saturday night. Perhaps she needed a good razzzing out to (like mentioned already) burn off some crap my pussyfoot hasn't.

Either way, the night wasn't a total loss....I did find out some valuable information, didn't blow up the car and ex #2 lost her purse (with $500 in it from a recent Western Union transfer), only to find it in the parking lot 25 minutes later.

944S Boyeee

kasturbo

[quote]Originally posted by 944S Boyeee:
<strong>Por951Turbo,

Here is a link - the pics start on page 2 or 3 I think....

<a href="http://forums.pelicanparts.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=62631&perpage=20&highlight=jeep&pagenumber=1" target="_blank">http://forums.pelicanparts.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=62631&perpage= 20&highlight=jeep&pagenumber=1</a>

944S Boyeee</strong><hr></blockquote>

Pretty nice! Do you have pics of the other two girls?

Jeff928S4

BigPorscheGuy....

Thanks for the break-down..

Your right, confrontation is very good - that is why I awaited your reply.

The unconscious comments made by the girls is what bothers me. I'm smart enough to figure out that they both can only "care" so much, I just thought they cared more. I don't take this personally because I feel they can't care anymore than they are capable of. One of my goals in being their friend is to help them in thinking they are valuable people, thus opening the door for more self-love and then allowing them to be able to care more. I don't really desire them to specifically care for me, but rather to just gain that ability.

Fleeting emotions, need to be the centre of attention, rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotion, in this case, are what I like to call confusion.....as is saying in one post I love them and then saying I don't in another, isn't this obvious? I'm not this type of person usually - but having no direction for my feelings is making me do things I know are wrong.

Perhaps you have never done it - but allowing someone to not only see you get sick, but to open up to that person enough that you can get sick at the same time, in the same place, without worrying about, "what does this person think of me NOW!!!" - is a special thing. It's called "being comfortable" around someone. I have a theory that if you can't picture a female taking a bowel movement - then she is either the Queen or a Supermodel. Once a man watches (or can picture it in his head) a women have a bowel movement - a real connection is made....think about that. This is an over-extension of the "getting sick together" idea. When a man meets a women for the first time....he cannot picture her "taking a dump", but as connections are made and they become more comfortable around each other - it progresses to the point where you will hear one member of the relationship say, "Hey, come take a look at this one!!!" - and if it's the female doing this, then the connection is even stronger. Please analyze that thought process.

As for me having the two of them in my bed on different nights, again - there was no sex involved. I know this is not a sane gameplan, nor does it help in "making them feel good about themselves", but sometimes I like being with one and sometimes I like being with the other one. One sleeps very silently and the other kicks. They are different people with different auras and I enjoy both of them. They both knew it was happening, so, yes - I selfishly took advantage of their weakness.....which is their inability to say what I'm doing is wrong.

Sure one of them HAD to be feeling humiliated or foolish as a member of my 'harem'....but the fact they went out shows me that these feelings are not as strong as they should be/could be. I know what humilation looks like and I saw none Saturday night. Sorry, but you are wrong in assuming that ex #2 was "reaching out" or "communicating" with me by driving the car hard. If you knew her driving record, you would see this. I really don't think these particular women think deep enough to "send me messages". If they are mad - they act mad. If they are hurt - they cry. This simplicity is one of the traits that draws me to them.

As for being faithful to them - I have been, 100%. I never slept with one, while dating the other. Lines were always drawn and people always knew where they stood. Again, these women don't "open their legs to me". Why keep going back to the basics here? It's deeper than this. They do trust me enough to show their vulnerability. Their lack of control of their vulnerability is a what allows them to be such big targets to men. They need to get more of an "attitude" that says, "I'm strong, you can't hurt me" or "I don't need you". This is something I want for them.

The "whatever happens is SUPOSSED to happen" (you missed the all-important "supossed") is a way of life many people follow. It's not "fate" so much as it accepting that nobody can control anything. All we can control is what WE do. If we try with all our being to "make" a relationship work, does that mean it is supposed to happen? No - things happen on this earth because of choices, decisions and paths people make and take. People cannot control the outcome of an event unless the variables involved can be controlled also. People's true feeling are these variables in a relationship and nobody can control someone else's true feelings. And to reiterate.....I won't be getting any "sloppy seconds". Why the sex references again??

BigPorscheGuy - I'm not keeping anyone in my life to mask a weak ego. The fact that I'm not dating "normal" women is a sign that I trust in my ability to make things work with anyone. My ego does need the occasional dusting off, but so does everybody else's.

I knew you had a PHD - it's blatantly obvious. You took my situation and categorized it along with all the other situation you have dealth with in life that resemble mine. You are trying to help me by comparing my situation with a case study or something and think I will recognize my obvious mistakes. I suggest you step outside the frequency distribution graph that has become your way of thinking and dig deeper here. This IS NOT a typical, open and shut example of what you are speaking. My situation is a work of art (as you quoted earlier). It's just the canvas does not contain a Mona Lisa or an American Gothic, like you think it may. My canvas is a splash of confusion, pain, desire to be more loved and need for conclusive thought. By trying to organize my mess into the perfect painting, you are taking the art away. We can't organize my chaos here and make it fit a "paint by numbers" template. I feel this is what you're doing. By speaking with you via this board, I know you're a deeper person than that and I really think you can help me figure out why I think the way I do. If you partake in this process, I must warn you - I will tell you that you are wrong if I think you are and I know how much that can frustrate you. I know you believe that you think above the average person, and you are right. This cannot be personal....and on that note I apolgize for asking you personal questions about yourself. This isn't a thread about any problems associated with you....sorry.

So, here is the real deal. I have always been a "mommy's boy". I'm an only child and my parents lost a child prior to my successful entrance into this world. They have coddled me and taken away any worry's I have about being safe. They allowed me the luxury of not having to worry about the things other's worry about. Money, lodging, love, acceptance, belief in myself. My life has been golden and I owe it all to them.

So, I had the "storybook life" in the younger years. Winner of the public speach awards in grade 4,5 and 6. Best math student and best overall student upon graduation from Elementary. Was a jock - played on the soccer, hockey and volleyball teams in elementary, Junior High, High School and I played Volletball in University. I was on the Canada Games Volleyball Team. Moved to another town for Junior High. Adjusted very quickly and joined the "cool" crowd right away. Had an excellent High School life - was students Council President. Had my own office, parking spot, etc, etc. Never had to study and always passed. Got a job at 18 as a DJ in my uncles bar. Went to University and excelled there. Had a steady, well-adjusted girlfriend from grade 2 until grade 6. Had another "picture perfect" girlfriend all through Junior High. Had the "prom queen" girlfriend all through High School and the first two years of University.

Then something happened. One night at the bar I previously was a DJ at, something happened. I was 22 and was the manager of a 1800 seat Cabaret. My parents bought the bar from my uncle. I had the run of the place.....free booze, free women, no worries. Had my own house at 22 (part of investors in the bar using that house as money to invest). The path of easy life was still in front of me.

One night a fellow entered the bar and shot two people and then shot himself. I have never been the same since. Up until that point, I was a *****. I always talked my way out of fights and made the bully look weak. I was always called gay, because I understood women because of a very close relationship with my mother. Women felt comfortable around me. I never really had any problems in life. After seeing death that close up (as the manager, I had to be witness to the entire investigation - saw things people shouldn't see), something changed inside of me.

I was always an "underdog lover". My favorite sports teams were always underdogs. When playing street hockey - I would pick the smallest, less skilled guys. I guess I was always "looking for a challenge" because life was never a challenge for me. This "underdog" way of thinking may have translated into what happened to me.

After finding more out about the victims of the shooting, I saw their path of life. Broken home, abuse, low self-esteem, drugs, money, greed, pain.....the works. And they end this life dead on a bar floor. I was never introduced to this before. I didn't even know these things were real. At that point in my life I had direction. I was in University studying Psychology and on my way to medical school. I could have done anything I wanted, but I felt a need to surround myself with the underdogs of life.

Here is where these women come in. Ex #2 (the ex-dancer) was the high school **** - even though she didn't sleep around. She was hot and when she turned guys down, they said they slept with her to not look bad. She got a reputation she didn't deserve. She didn't do well in school and had the parents who's attitude was, "We didn't want to have you anyways". She was beaten down from day one - but I saw me in her. I saw intelligence and a pure soul. I saw that given my upbringing, she would be in the same situation as myself. I couldn't stand to let someone so special be treated so badly by life. I try to "rescue" people. I was so bored with my own life, that I had so much free thought, love and time - that I wanted to share it with people who didn't have it.

The same goes for ex #1. She left home at 14 after being repeatedly abused. She was sexually abused by an uncle. She lived in a cardboard box for 2 years. She worked for an Escort Agency for two weeks. She didn't do well in school. She never had a chance to enjoy life. I guess I feel guilty sometimes that I had what I had and want to give that away. They say love is actually how someone else makes you feel and not how you make other's feel. I have been "loved" all my life and I guess now I want to be the giver, as opposed to the receiver.

I've let these two girls stay at my place for extended periods of time with no rent or no worries about bills, so they could get their High School equivalencies. I have supported them emotionally when other guys only see what they have on the outside. I have given them that "backbone" or "foundation" that they seemed to have lacked all through life. I want nothing in return from them - no sex, no promises, no anything....other than seeing them have a good life. I want them to be able to open their minds up and learn more. The only way I can see this happening is if they don't have as many worries and stress.

I don't run around trying to help everyone. I have met many women from broken homes, etc who still have a low quality of life - but they don't seem to be good candidates. These two ladies are different. I truly believe they were dealt the the wrong deck of cards in life. They are just like me, but without the solid upbringing. I feel they were cheated. I want to right the wrong. I see their stuggles with their desires to be "normal". They truly hate being untrusting and not able to love and deal with situations correctly. I can see that they would kill to just "have a normal" life. They KNOW they should be doing better than they are. They KNOW they are worth more to people. They KNOW they should be capable of more love.....problem is, they don't BELIEVE it.

So, that is where my confusion and problems lie. I have become attached to these girls to the point where I think of them as something other than "just friends". The connection to them is something I treasure. This chaos is my tranquility - but I'm beginning to think they will never really be able to like me. I will admit I have hoped I could "change" them into perfect lil' women. They are already physically attractive - so I thought that if I could help in maturing and "normalizing" their lives, that I would have the total package on my hands. Hot women who trust me and have high self-esteems, that are independant, smart and enjoy life. I was taking the hard route. I could have stayed with the Prom Queen, finished Medical school and lived the White Picket Fence life - but that would be sooo boring and I would feel I really did nothing in life. If I can help at least one other person be as happy as myself, at least I die knowing I did "something".

I don't want a "normal" life. I want to be surrouned by Bi-Polar women and friends who have no goals. I don't want to take the easy way out......but I'm having inner pain because nobody can see my true intentions and they label me unjustly.

So, now that you have a better idea of the real situation.....give it to me!!!!

By the way BigPorscheGuy - ex #1 IS Manic Depressive. She is curently on Litium and Divoproxal (sp??). I thank you for pointing out that after the manic stage (and the combo of drugs), that the sex drive is out of wack - I never thought of that. I guess that helps justify her choice somewhat. I, for one, don't think she is Manic. Perhaps I can explain her situation to you and you can give me your opinion???? I don't think she needs these drugs (although I do find now she doesn't fight anymore - she just cries.....but I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing).

I need help in dealing with my own problems that are arising from this triangle. Forget the other parties involved. This really isn't about them (I don't think) - it's really about me and what's going on inside me, no???

I will point out that I'm a "neat freak" and a perfectionist, but I need risk in my life or I'm not happy. That is why I bought a Porsche 944 instead of an Rx-7. What I want and who I am are totally different things.

Still looking for help.....

944S Boyeee

Jeff928S4

Por951....I don't have any pics of ex #1 and option #3 is a girl I just met.

Those pics of ex #2 were taken because she was trying to get into Playboy....it hasn't panned out yet.

I'm sort of weirded out by refering to these girls as numbers. I'm actually Jeff and their names are Mary-Jane (ex #1) and Earlae (ex #2) and Krista (the new girl). Just had to clear that up I guess.

944S Boyeee

mideastmafia

if you have all these beautiful exotic dancers and strippers hanging around you, then why the hell are you sitting here posting on rennlist rather than out getting some *****?

you obviously got these girls without "rennlist help" so why do u need "rennlist help" to maintain them? plus, most of these rennlist guys are all nerds anyways and the closest they have gotten to a girl is <a href="http://www.interactiveporn.com" target="_blank">www.interactiveporn.com</a>

i want some solid fact proof that u are surrounded by these women...

and dont get on here telling me "shaun get off rennlist" and ****. maybe we are buddy buddy now, but i honestly wana see these girls.

SHAUN

kasturbo

I'm sorry if I missed it, but have you even gone out with Krista yet? It might not hurt seeing what is down that path. I know you have too many options as it is, but it never hurts to find out.

You may surprise yourself with this girl and get the feelings that completly turn you off of the other two girls.

Sorry to ramble, but it seems that you have a past with the two girls, and maybe it will be best if left at that. Isn't true that your past is what makes you the person that you are today. I say grow on that and try new things...

BigPorscheGuy39

People get pissed whenever anyone pidgeon-holes someone into a category and I fully understand those pissed off feelings. Moreover, I'm sure there are numerous shades of grey, deep nuance and body language that would also provide me with more information as to what precisely is going on. Categories, unfortunately, are the best tool available to understand most problems, so I'm not going to apologise for my use of them in this particular instance. Fact is, they are reductionistic, and reductions always are mere representations of the fuller picture. But I've only got two hands and you are asking for a reply over the internet, so my engaging you in a prolonged discussion about all the nuance in your life and the most recent masturbatory fantasies you've entertained would be longwinded, unwieldy, and largely irrelevant.

The point of the exercise was not to start a debate with you. It was to hold up a mirror to you and let you look at it. You might not like what you see. You might not 'agree' that it is truth. You might see missing pieces that are invisible in the mirror. But in searching around for the inadequacy in my analysis, you're again moving the focus away from taking a hard look at you, and instead making this an academic or intellectual exercise. It's like, we're in a race, and you're trying to reach the finish line, I'm pointing you to the track, and you keep stopping in the pits to complain that the road is too rough, that I don't understand the heat in your car cause I'm not experiencing it, and your car can't handle the moves I'm suggesting it should make. My only reply to that is: I thought you wanted advice on racing?

Most anyone here can appreciate your need for speed. But even that tendency in folks is largely a borderline characteristic. Look it up. I'll freely admit to behaving that way from time to time, and I see no shame in that whatsoever. But if I let that tendency loose, and didn't understand it and learn how to temper it, it'd be one helluva dangerous tendency. What keeps me alive and happy is my continual reevaluation of myself and what I'm doing. Why do you keep pushing the discourse away from you when undertanding you is the only way you're going to be able to predict and explain you?

The previous post was all about self reflection and being brutally honest with yourself for the purpose of growth. I'm comfortable with it. My only suggestion is that you just read it again.

Glad to hear this young woman is medicated. No need to describe her story to me, as I'm confident in the ability of medical practioners and psychiatrists to correctly diagnose and treat her condition. If you took a moment away from your issues to read up on her condition, you'll find that in order to earn that diagnosis she has to undergo what is called a 'significant manic episode or hypomanic episode', or wording to that effect. This means she completely broke down, and was psychotic for a time. Life, my friend, has dished this friend of yours a difficult hand to play. You should be thanking God, if you care one iota for her, that the medical community discovered her condition before she killed herself or someone else.

The regime of drugs she is presently on sounds adequate. You might want to leave that one be and trust the doctors, if you really care about her, that is. If you don't give a shxx about her, then go ahead and give her advice on the futility of their diagnosis and the wrongness of the medication. After all, the incidence of suicide in manic depressives is most aggressive among all the depressive disorders. So while you're convincing her of the wisdom of your diagnosis over that of the doctor, please consider buying her a gun too, like a 9 mm pistol or a shotgun, so she can do it quickly and efficiently.