coupe

Hello there 944SBoyeee. Good luck with that. I hope it all works out, if you feel so damn strong about it, then just do it, follow your heart and it will work out. Keep the faith.

:-)

Jeff928S4

Just to finish up this thread, I wanted to thank everyone for the words of support. If everyone grew up in a family with the support Rennlist has, the world would be a better place.

First off - Coner.....I came into work, checked this thread and saw you typed "the big yellow one is the sun".....I laughed so hard everyone here looked at me and asked what was wrong. Thanks for making my Monday!

I also wanted to comment on the aspect of "getting chewed up" and such in the big cities. I totally expect that. But I have a secret weapon......I don't NEED to "make it big". This was one major thing I thought of before anything else. If I tried his whole comedy thing out when I was say, 18 - I would be an 18-year-old with a dream and no back-up. If I went to "Hollywood" in that mindset, I would have to jump hoops for people and sell-out. I would be a "struggling comic" who would do things I normally wouldn't do to "get places".

That ain't hapnin'. I have two homes, two cars, money invested, a super-supportive family, a career and the knowledge that if I don't "make it", then whoopty frickin' doo!!! I love comedy, but I'm not going to compromise my desires/integrity. Basically, I'm going to do it my way or I'll be back on the highway....heading home.

If I'm in some reps/agent/club owners office and they pull the "you will never work in this town again if you don't do this or that" crap - I can just look them in the eyes and say....."your loss" and be able to walk out the door and mean it. I don't know if this is a disadvantage or an advantage, but at least I'll know I'm doing things without fear or without having to "suck up". I know brown-nosing is part of the game, and perhaps not doing that will ostracize me...but there is no way I'm going to be someone's pawn. I'm bigger than that.

So, I feel I have an advantage in trying this at age 33, as opposed to trying it at age 18. Hopefully I'm right!!

944S Boyeee

Jeff928S4

I also wanted to let you all in on my "opening joke". I thought about it over the weekend and realized it's not that bad. Now this joke isn't exactly going to tickle everyone's funnybone, but a select few should find it amusing.

(after all the "hi, how is everyone doing" generic opening stuff) I start with.....

"Man - are a lot of you like me in the aspect that you hate when things go totally wrong after a bunch of planning and such? I mean, you work soooo hard for something, only to have it all go absolutely wrong at the last minute? Don't cha hate that? Like just the other day, this happened to me - maybe it's happened to you....."

"I go to the video store. I'm there at least 2 hours looking at movies. I'm reading the boxes, seeing the plotlines, checking out the stars, eliminating the ones I don't want and flipping the box covers sideways (using hand gestures here)on the ones I've narrowed it down to. I go back after all this process and finally make my choice. I head home.....get all set up to watch the movie. I have everything I need all ready to go."

"Things seem good, right? How can anything go wrong? I press play.....I find an amazing opening scene.....everything is going great....all my efforts are paying off. I try and time it perfectly....but it happens everytime!! Just as I'm about to orgasm.......BAM!!!!.....close-up of Ron Jeremy's face!!! Don't cha hate when that happens???".

Ok - now that joken isn't a show stopper...but if that has ever happened to you, you will find it very funny. Like I said, my act is like that. I may not make the whole audience laugh, but those who are laughing will really be laughing. The whole act isn't geared towards ****. I have other jokes that are in the same vein, meaning they are "specific situation" jokes. It's like Seinfelds observational comedy, but not as vast. My jokes are very off-the-wall and cover situations that only happen every so often, but are still funny. I have a platform, but need more experience to get my timing down.

That reminds me of a joke I love. Ask someone what is the key to comedy and just before they say anything, blurt out "timing".

Also, I started writing a bit about guys who honk their horns at women. I was driving yesteday and saw this pick-up truck with like 7 guys in it beep their horn at a women who was walking on the other side of the road.

I thought of saying something like, "What is the deal with these honk-guys? What possibly could their goal be?. What are they expecting here and what are they trying to display to women? I don't get it.....'oh, look at me.....I have a car, just like everyone else around you!!!'.......or 'Look at me - I have the ability to honk a horn, sleep with me!!'. What do they think - that all women are like Pavlov's dog? (in a women voice)...'..what was that...a horn?'....(at this point I pull my pants down and start panting).

It's still in the works. Anyone want to help me write some more??? What else could go with the "honking-guys" bit??? Everyone post some follow-up jokes that I could use that go along with the "guys who honk at girls from moving cars" bit. There are some really funny posters on this forum......let's see some comedy!!!

944S Boyeee

M Danger

Well heres a tip, first joke has got to be quick, thats too long, people will start to loose attention,can do longer jokes after they are "willing to listen". Seinfeld already did the car honking joke.
What ever you do, DONT pull your pants down. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

Try some sarcasm.

i get the impression you havent seen "comedian"?

sweanders

Go for it man, and watch out for those ex's once you get rich and famous..

And would you sponsor car shipping from Sweden for the Rennlist gettogether you going to pull of, email me about the dates.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

P944forScott

Two peanuts are walking down the street and one is assalted...

Jeff928S4

M Danger - good point. Keep in mind, what you read would only take me about a minute to say and the "feeling" of the joke cannot really come thru typed words...but I hear ya on the keeping their attention part.

Seinfeld already did the honking stuff??? Damn! Oh well, scrap that one.

Anders - don't worry buddy, you're on the party list for sure! Remember, we had to watch each others back a couple times in the OT area and those "Best threads ever" you posted rule!

P944forScott - good one!!! .....you crazy old fart!

944S Boyeee

sweanders

Cool boyeee!

You need to get yourself 10 more posts and hit 944.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Rich Sandor

I don't usually go out of my way to make people laugh - but I myself tend to find every little thing funny, in some way shape or form.

For example, this morning turned out nice and sunny - and when I noticed one of the taxi cab drivers wiping down his car with a rag, I had to run out and say: "Stop, Stop - You know you're gonna make it rain if you keep doing that!!!"

When we had the "Canadian Idol" contestants lining up outside the Hotel for thier audtions, my co-worker brought out his best "Simon Cowell" impersonation. After seeing a few rather large girls, he says, "Damn girl, this is a singing competition, not an eating competition!" Although my favorite bar none, was my response to a girl wanting to use our hotel's private washrooms.

her: "Can I use the bathrooms in the Lobby?"
me: "I'm sorry, they are for hotel guests only.."
her: "But where am I supposed to go?"
me: "They've set up porta-potties in the lane for all the contestants..."
her: (pleading) "But they smell so bad..."
me: "You've got to suffer for your music don't ya?"
her: (Aggravated) They don't even have toilet paper in there!!!
me: "Don't Pee on your hands!!!!!

That's when my co-worker BURST out laughing and the chick stormed off...

LOL

Rich Sandor

BTW, the Ron Jeremy joke is classic... not that's it's ever happened to me..

Inc. CEO

&lt;insert rimshot here&gt;

Inc. CEO

you know, "coupling"(another britcom) is also simply hilarious. I agree that "father ted" is just plain silly, and if I'm in the right mood, "Manchild" can be good too. I have to say I think brits have a nack for sitcoms.

Jeff928S4

Whaaaaaa???? I wasn't even watching - I know I was at 914 a while back.

I have a crazy idea. You all know how in today's age, people need "gimmicks" or they need to do something that the media catches on to and exposes - like Wayne Bobbit or something? Something that makes your name a household word.

Well, I got to thinking and what I might do is try and incorporate a bit where I do something on stage that "gets me noticed". I could just plug away in clubs and use my material to hopefully get noticed, but that's boring.

Here is my idea. While doing the act, whenever someone leaves the room - I'll tell the rest of the audience that I have a smoke in my ciggy pack that smells just like weed when it's burning (kinda like Camels) and that when said person comes back, I'm going to offer them "a joint" so they can enjoy my "comedy for the stoned" bit. The audience is all "ok" and when this person comes back - I tell them the audience voted for them to smoke the "joint" so I could do the "comedy for stoned people" bit. I hand the "joint" to the person (joking about how it's a real joint) and let them smoke it. After the "joint" is gone, I'll tell jokes like - "hey - did you ever notice your hand!!" and crap like that. It won't be very funny.

So, if it's not funny - why do it? Well, because I was thinking of using real weed. The audience will always thinks it's fake, so I may be able to get away with it for a while - but eventually, someone will notice they are really stoned and sue me (hopefully not - I'll try and pick out people who don't look like they would be that offended by free weed) or the cops will be called in or something. BAM!!! There is my "in". I'm in the news as the comedian who used real weed on the audience during the "comedy for stoned people bit". All the news media would jump all over the story and it may make it to Jay Leno or something (it would be a good story). I would instantly become "the comedian who used real weed" guy. Weed is pretty popular with the kids, so they would think I'm "cool" and may be curious about my act. Everyone would try and book me because I have a "handle" and people would know who I was.

Think this would work??? Stupid idea or not? Besides being arrested and fined, I think it's a great way to free publicity and a way to get my name out there. It may be negative publicity, but is there really such a thing as "bad" publicity?

944S Boyeee

M Danger

yeah, sein did the honking joke, maybe you should downlo... um go buy his audio comedy CD "Im telling you for the last time.." and while youre the're pick up Comedian it just came out on DVD, it show Jerry getting back on stage after the show, and Honry(sp?) Adams(i think) trying to make it, finaly getting a spot on Letterman.
Dont forget you want to have jokes you can do on TV, or they will say hes funny, but we cant put that on the air...

Rich Sandor

What if the person that leaves the room doesn't smoke, or doesn't take the weed? What if everyone leaves? or no one leaves?

Good idea, but you need to iron out the wrinkles.