But all who say Mr. T > Chuck, Chuck will kill them. Think about it: Either be pitied....or.....die.......

I love the Norris


How much wood could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could Chuck Norris?

 

Anyone catch the recent episode of Top Gear? Here are some cool screenshots of the little contest they had. Great stuff.

You can guess who won this time.

 

"What's the best way to mount sub-belts "

Guarantied instant 40 posts

Just thought I'd chime in too

Ps. The Norris is sweet.

 

I hope this doesnt turn in to a chuck norris joke thread...
that being said


Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer - Too bad he never cries.

Chuck Norris is the reason waldo is hiding

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Helen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.


just some of my personal favorites...

 

Did you hear about the midget homosexual?

He came out of the cupboard.




I dated a midget for a few years....

...I was nuts over her.

 

I really need to stop clicking on dots.

 

my contribution-





hey, you have to admit, it's 944 related.........

 

How do you get helen keller to keep a secret?
Break her fingers

Why was Helen Keller's leg wet?
Her dog was blind too.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger in the toilet.
How many kids did Helen Keller have?
NONE! The plunger went all the way through!

Why does Helen Keller ********** with one hand?
So she can moan with the other.

The ones I remember from my awesome wood shop teacher...

I also went to MGM studios in Orlando today, and got the inside scoop on the movie Cars, and some pics of pre-release drawings of the 911...

 

huh?

 

vb5

 

yeah id drive the 328 but its at my other house......