San Francisco-Home to more beater 911's per capita than anywhere else.
05-05-2010, 12:02 AM
#17
Instructor
No video clips online to speak of, but the script is worth the read - nobody could touch Phil Hartman for the voiceovers!!
Chameleon XLE
Spokesman.....Phil Hartman
Man.....David Spade
Spokesman V/O: If you're a luxury car owner, there's something you should know. Luxury sedans are stolen at the rate of four per minute.
[ show couple walking to curb from restaurant; his car is nowhere to be found ]
Man: My brand new BMW! I just got this car two days ago!
[ Spokesman enters foreground ]
Spokesman: Frightening, isn't it? Suddenly, the idea of buying a car for the cache of a hood ornament seems outdated. In the 90's, you don't need a car to tell the world you're wealthy; you need a car to tell the world you're smart.
[ show luxury car under wraps, as a breeze sends the cloth flying to reveal a junky-looking vehicle underneath ]
Spokesman: Introducing the Chameleon XLE for 1993. Finally, a luxury car that doesn't look like a luxury car.
Inside, the Chameloen XLE has everything you would expect in a luxury sedan of its class. Soft leather seating, a contoured instrument panel, and fine wood. But there's more - much more.
Authentically distressed fenders give way to a partially padded roof of blistered vinyl. While under the hood, a simulated transmission-fluid drip whispers, "Hey, not worth the trouble." This is craftsmanship no one will steal. GThis is engineering for the inner-city driving experience.
[ Spokesman places marble at the top of hood, which rolls forward into a hole at the bootm of the hood ]
Spokesman: Every inch of the Chameleon XLE is a pinnacle of urban design.
There's attention to detail. Like three mismatched wheel covers, and one exposed rim in school-bus yellow. Standard.
A broken taillight repaired with duct tape. Standard.
Retractable antenna. Standard.
The body of a Pontiac with a driver's-side door from an Oldsmobile Delta '88. All standard.
A car thief takes one look at this, and keeps right on walking. Of course, it's equipped with an automatic alarm system - but do you really think you'll need it?
[ Spokesman turns on alarm, which renders the car even more useless ]
Spokesman: The Chameleon XLE. They might tow it away, but they'll never steal it.
05-05-2010, 03:14 AM
#18
Racer
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sierra Foothills, CA
Posts: 366
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SF is hard on cars. Salt air, Lots of traffic, no parking, bad and aggressive drivers in a hurry, theft, vandalism, garage space at a premium or nonexistant so cars sit outside. Also an expensive city to live in. Lots of image conscious people with $$$ who aren't car people per se. You'd really have to not care about your car to drive it everyday in The City. When I lived there I used to use a motorcycle for transportation and left the 911 safely in its garage for recreation and trips to known "safe" places only.
05-05-2010, 08:13 AM
#19
There's this guy I know in L.A. who drives this beater Porsche, but you know...he has a pretty good time in it.
I lived in The Bay Area for four years. The City was great, but just like Manhattan, it's a terrible place to own a car.
I lived in The Bay Area for four years. The City was great, but just like Manhattan, it's a terrible place to own a car.
05-05-2010, 04:11 PM
#20
Hi Ed. I saw your car at Balboa park last year (very nice btw). I live in the bay area and the reason why so many porsches are thrashed in SF are for the following reasons:
1) Weather is always foggy. It rots the hell out of your interior with mold (ask me how i know). Gets really stuck in those perforated leathers!!!
2) Weather also causes rust in certain areas due to being close to the water
3) Can't find parking and people ALWAYS hit your car. The insurance rates are ridiculous here in the city. It's fine when you have a garage but you gotta have $$$.
Now if you go to the eastbay and south there are plenty of 911's that are in tiptop shape. You should try on of our meets in Half moon bay.
1) Weather is always foggy. It rots the hell out of your interior with mold (ask me how i know). Gets really stuck in those perforated leathers!!!
2) Weather also causes rust in certain areas due to being close to the water
3) Can't find parking and people ALWAYS hit your car. The insurance rates are ridiculous here in the city. It's fine when you have a garage but you gotta have $$$.
Now if you go to the eastbay and south there are plenty of 911's that are in tiptop shape. You should try on of our meets in Half moon bay.
05-05-2010, 05:55 PM
#21
I haddah Google dat
Rennlist Member
Rennlist Member
My least favorite piece of asphalt anywhere is I-580 into Emeryville. Maniac drivers everywhere mixed in with studious do-gooders who drive 55 in the #1 lane, probably to slow down the speeders.
05-07-2010, 06:08 PM
#23
Rennlist Member
Over the years, I've found very few rusty cars from the fleet as it exists locally. Mechanical neglect is what did most of them in. My friend and I were shocked when the first wave of English buyers hit here maybe 20 years ago in search of early cars, and the extent to which they'd look over corrosion that we'd call terminal and destined to go to Jim and Spencer at EASY (and later Al at Partsheaven).
05-08-2010, 05:54 PM
#24
Rennlist Member
My daughter goes to school at Cal, and God bless her, she notices vintage Porsche's and sends me cell phone snapshots all the time. Of course it's hard to tell their condition, but it seems like there are quite a few shorthoods running around the Berkeley foothills. Another reason why I love visiting her....
05-10-2010, 09:47 PM
#25
Burning Brakes
I don't know... there is something to be said about people who drive those cars and treat them as CARS they use everyday rather than get caught up in **** P-O-R-S-C-H-E worship. I for one lie somewhere in between like most people. But, I give props to the guy who drives patina'd cars because they are great cars, not necessarily Porsches, just as much as I do guys with 100k mile + show winners.
To each his own.
To each his own.
05-10-2010, 10:53 PM
#26
Rennlist Member
Thread Starter
I may grant patina on the black coupe, but the guy should be shot for driving a car that ran like it did. The red Targa is way past patina. Those cars' drivers deserved no respect. The guy who has a DD and keeps it up, it doesn't have to be perfect, gets my vote.
