A Bridge Too Far, Starring a Porsche

A reckless Porsche driver pulls the ol’ drive and dash. 

We came across an interesting story in the New York Post about a Porsche owner in NYC. Now, we are surmising from the incredible story, that at one time or another, the driver was likely contemplating choosing between something fast and sporty, like a Porsche 911 Carrera; and something more versatile and tough but maybe not as lightning fast, like a Porsche Cayenne SUV, something that you could go off-roading in should you get caught up in a bad storm during a trip to Martha’s Vineyard. She chose the Cayenne SUV. And she chose wrong.

Don’t misunderstand, the mid-size luxury crossover is certainly a badass beast of a sport utility vehicle. But even the greatest have their weaknesses. For Superman it’s kryptonite. For the Cayenne, it’s the Porsche’s inability to suddenly shmush itself flat in order to drive anywhere, like in the bike path alongside New York’s FDR Drive.

Unfortunately, the innocent Cayenne was smashed, trashed, and stuck on a bridge. Meanwhile, the driver ditched the poor Porsche, escaping out of the sunroof and hightailing it out of there like a 911 at the Nürburgring.

This is a lesson that one impatient driver learned the hard way last week. She found herself on a bridge and stuck behind a slow-moving construction truck. The truck was being driven by a city worker en route to a project on the bridge. It’s NYC traffic, what did she expect? The restless Porsche driver apparently had more important things to do and decided to create a personal easement for her Porsche Cayenne.

Also see: Porsche Cayenne Coupe Spied Testing in Germany

The hairbrain idea worked…for about two feet. Then, the driver learned quickly that Transformers don’t really exist in real life, at least not yet. Her Cayenne got stuck. We can’t say we’re surprised. That Porsche was never going to squeeze between a space made for pedestrians and bike riders.

The city worker told the New York Post that he watched the whole thing unfold from his rear view mirror. And, unfortunately, the innocent Cayenne paid the price in the end. The enviable SUV, which can easily cost $65,000, was smashed, trashed, and stuck on a bridge. Meanwhile, the driver ditched the poor Porsche, leaving it to fend for itself as she escaped out of the sunroof and hightailed it out of there like a 911 at the Nürburgring.

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