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Loaded: Lean on "Bigs" as much as you need! He can't be privy to all the diagnosis and such, but he CAN give you straight talk and more personal advice on what's happening. This will help YOU, of course, in dealing with the situation, but I think it will also act to calm and to bolster YOU and your Wife in this endeavour. Your strengths will be absorbed by your Daughter and utilized in Her internal resolve!