jester911

MuMu, is just a one legged boy in an *** kicking contest.

GhettoRacer

There you go, lieing again. Your and your fagget friend Mike CHIken came up with the bull**** escrow idea. Bring $5000 cash when we do the challenge. WHen you are ready to figure the logistics out you call me.

Mike in Chi

Actually I came up with the escrow idea, because I suspected you were total bull****.

Mark was willing to put up the money.

You ran and hid.

You were the bull**** Francine, not the escrow idea.

Money talks.
Bull**** walks.
Ghetto balks.
Chicken squawks.

SundayDriver

I she still going on about that crap. He challenged, I accepted, he ran - end of story. He can put up cash, in advance, and I will take a new challenge. Otherwise he has run so many times only an idiot would take a challenge without a real commitment from PaperBoy. Note I said cash, no bad checks accepted.

If PaperBoy replies with anything of value, please quote him so I will see it. Otherwise I assume that each of his posts is filled only with profanity and cowardice.

Veloce Raptor

Mark, that is a pretty damned accurate assumption so far.

Bull

Paper Boy can't respond with anything of substance...he brings NOTHING to this table, other than excuses!

LTCMontana

I thought you meant this kind of joke of the day...

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day.

Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl
in the world."

Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."

Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the most tacky, rude, crude,
gross & disgusting person in the world."

So they all decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have
their claims verified.

Sleeping Beauty went in first and came out looking deliriously happy.

"It's official; I AM the most beautiful girl in the world."

Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am now officially the
smallest person in the world."

Sometime later, Quasimodo comes out looking utterly confused and says,

"Who the hell is Ghettoracer?

Bull

BINGO....GhettoRacer IS the joke of the day....EVERY DAY!

Bonster

Iraq . . . yes, jokes like that were what I was looking for in my OP. Good one! I'll have to remember that one.

cooleyjb

I've been trying to remember one of those since I saw this thread title. It was killing me.

Bonster

Thought most of you (except for the bleeding-heart liberals) would like this one:

BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

Linda is a blonde and a Democrat, but I'm certain that's irrelevant.

Bonster

Here's another one someone just sent me"

Signs . . .

Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
Proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit please back in."
Plumber's truck: We repair what your husband fixed."
Churches Billboard: "7 days without God makes one weak."
Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts!!"
In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire
and take appropriate action "
Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."
Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've
come to the right place."
Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car
payment."
Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

jester911

Man goes to see his doctor because of pain in his elbow.
Doctor replies, I have this brand new urinalysis machine. You pee in a cup and it will tell whatever is wrong with you.
Man says okay lets give it a go.
Doctor runs his sample thru the machine and gets the printout.

Doctor says well you just have bad case of tennis elbow. Take these anti-inflammatories (sp) and come back in a few weeks and we will run it again.
So the man leaves the office very skeptical. He figures the Doc and his machine are full of it. He doesn't even play tennis.

So the day of his return visit he thinks of a scheme to mess with the doctor and his machine. He gets his wife to pee in a cup. His daughter to pee in it and he also pees in it. Then he goes out and removes the dipstick from his car and drops a couple drops of oil in.

So he arrives at the doctor's office and hands him the cup.

The doctor comes back with the readout and says, I have some bad news for you.

Your daughter is pregnant.
Your wife is screwing everything in town.
Your Oldsmobile needs and oil change.
And if you don't quit jacking off you will never get rid of that tennis elbow.

Bonster

Your tax dollars hard at work! Air Force joke:


A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by. The jet jockey decided to show off.



The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, "watch this!" and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier.



The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that?
The C-130 pilot said, "That was impressive, but watch this!"
The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said "What did you think of that?"
Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, "What the hell did you do?"
The C-130 pilot chuckled. "I stood up, stretched my legs, went to the back, took a ****, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon bun."

When you are young and foolish - speed and flashy may be a good thing.
When you get older and smarter - comfort and dull is not such a bad thing!!?

Larry Herman

I like that joke!