baileybonds

My wife and new baby were about to head out for an appointment a few hours ago, when all of a sudden our Cayenne S wouldnt start. the ignition tried to turn slowly, but it sounded very odd and the following alerts came on: ABS system failure, Air suspension failure, 4X4 system failure.
1-800-porsche is sending a truck tonite to take it the dealer so they can look at it first thing in the morning..
It's a 2005 Cayenne S with 24k miles. It's got PASM. the only other major problem i had once was last winter when the 4x4 hi switch short circuited once keeping the car stuck in 4wd hi (that sucked by the way, since i had to have it towed back from mammoth lakes to los angeles after a sore day skiing...)

Any insight from anyone to what may have caused this craziness?
thanks,
dave

ltc

When you say the ignition tried to turn slowly, I'm a bit confused.

Did you mean the starter turned the motor over slowly?

2 things come to mind immediately:
1. Low voltage brown out due to dead/dying battery....modules hate that, everybody gets out of sync, CAN messages are flying, collisions on the bus, indeterminate S/W states during reinitialization if the battery doesn't come back up....I have got to get a friggin' life.
2. CAN gateway module failure (module and/or wiring harness(es))

Either one of these can be fairly quickly diagnosed by your dealer. You're not 'naked', so you should be in good shape.

Relax and order a glass of Purplesaurus Rex from the forum bartender, MadFox.

ltc

I forgot to mention #3.....it's one of the better kept secrets at Porsche.

Dr W and Peter the Great had designed into the system a "remote **** off a random customer of the day" function.

From their glass palaces, they can press a button on a Cayenne key fob remote (highly modified for the purpose) and unleash their version of 'new Porsche customer service' on some poor unsuspecting schmuck.

In the early days, the effects were limited to the rear hatch opening by itself....the cover story was that this was due simply to a poorly designed rear window microswitch....but there were those who knew better.

As time went on, Dr W and Peter the Great asked for more features.....unfortunately, one of the last features they asked for was a remote "!" display, followed by a complete loss of exterior lighting.

Or at least that's what I read on the internet.......

skl

Larry, Larry, Larry....

RJT

You guys are making me very,very afraid to drive my car alone... in the dark...
in the woods... heck, even in my own neighborhood in broad daylight.......

JoAnne

99firehawk

sounds like a dead battery to me , probaly left a light on

99firehawk

oh and thats not a major failure, car wont start becasue the battery was dead is about as minor as it gets, engine blew up, transmission failed on the highway and the tires locked up thats major

baileybonds

Yes the starter was trying to turn the engine very slowly..There was no sign before at all that the battery was even close to being bad, but who knows...I'll report back and let everyone know what the official diagnosis is when I hear back from the dealer tomorrow morning...

Where do I order this glass of P-Rex?

charlieXS

lol...

ltc

MadFox is the resident bartender for the forum.
If you do a search for Purplesaurus Rex in this forum, you will find the official recipe and a picture of the forum mascot.

BTW, that battery that is likely to explode and send acid everywhere is under your seat.....so you may want to make it a double when you order that drink

If we don't hear back from you, I'll send one of my bride's Saint Bernards out on a search.

ltc

Wait, I've got one more thing to say about the Cayenne.......

ltc

And I'd like to thank the following people for this award.....

My lawyers
The Supreme Court of the United States.
Porsche Cars of North America, especially the Accounts Payable department
Peter the Great
Dr W
The members of the Cayenne forum (not ALL the members....you know who you are)
My pharmacists
The nurse at my 'vacation villa' for all those sponge baths

Dead battery, definitely a dead battery, definitely....

ltc

Major Failure, meet Colonel Cayenne, PCNA customer care representative.......

pdxjim

ltc, those are contented dogs!!!!!!!!!! reminds me of what condition the Carnation Cows were always in when they donated milk to the corporate family!

Grssypond

Prepare the 'padded' room

draw up 10mg of vitamin H

Alert the 'squad'....they may need to retrieve a former visitor

Now lets see if we can talk him in