Steve 96C4S

I was at the gym today on the treadmill reading my Panorama magazine and I had to laugh at some of the car ads in the back. Many of them seemed funny to me.

Monster 3.8L in a 2011 Turbo S ad - really? a Monster? Um, OK.

Pristine 911 Turbo - with 36k miles? Pristine? It's amazing that it's pristine with all those miles. Definition of pristine: "immaculate, perfect, in mint condition, as new, unspoiled, spotless, flawless, impeccable, clean, fresh, new, virgin, pure, unused". Yeah, I guess it's... possible.

Showroom Car - but with about 9000 miles? I'd call that gently used but not showroom. "A car that looks brand new, even though it is used, is an example of a car that would be described as being in showroom condition". Ok, I'm sure it's possible.

Not just another white GT3 - yeah, I believe it is

Gorgeous car - yep, they all are to me, though that is subjective

As new showroom ready, no rain ever, heated garage for off season storage, collectors car driven regularly, but sparingly (this was a 2001 911 Turbo) - yeah, I find it amazing that in 16 years of driving it regularly it never saw rain... ever? By accident on a sunny day? A spring shower? Ok, it's of course possible, just, amazing and hard to believe. Call me cynical then.

Serious inquiries only - I would hope so for this pre-owned 1994 911 Turbo 3.6 for $225k.

Immaculate inside and out (it has 71k miles) - I don't know but you'd think a car with 71k miles would have some un-immaculate issues and not really be totally ... immaculate with 71k miles, though it's possible.

No low ball offers please. If you want to pay less please contact the three other PCA members that are selling their 40th Anniversary editions for less. - this add is my favorite by far.

Impeccable - car with 29k miles. Yeah, I guess it could be impeccable. It just seems that impeccable would be more like a brand new car or one with 1600 miles but to each his own.

Auto is in perfect condition. Car is a 10 out of 10, there's no disappointments. Serious people only. No joy rides. But far the nicest 996 for sale. - this is from a 16 year old Carrera 4 ad with 26k miles. I don't know, I'm just surprised that it's PERFECT after having been driven 26k miles. Was it driven in a vacuum on roads without any dirt or grime at all? Ok, maybe it was.

Mint original condition and stunning to look at - for a 1996 911 Cabriolet. Mint? Meaning, after 55k miles there is nothing at all wrong with it, at all? Mint, like - it looks like it did when on the showroom floor? Just, wow!

This 2004 Boxster looks timeless as the depths of glass showcase the beauty of the color - I really do like these superlatives.

The Best Available, reduced for easy sale - $330k for a white/white 1995 911 Carrera, damn - it better be the best available. I'm sure it is, but still...

Cleanest you'll find - for a 911 2005 Turbo S. Doesn't it seem sometimes that everyone has the "cleanest you'll find"?
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I don't know, these weren't Ebay ads or cars.com ads where you have some of the craziest claims and a dozen !!!!!!!!!!!!!! exclamation points in the ad over and over. This was a Porsche magazine and all these ads simply caught my attention on a tough news day when I didn't want to think about the news anymore. They gave me a chuckle on a day when flooding in TX and Louisiana and the Korean nuke situation dominated the depressing news.

I plan to go out to my garage right now to take a look at my pristine, immaculate, nicest you'll ever find, as new, showroom condition, 1 of 490, stored winters, drives and handles as new, all receipts available, 100% as delivered, well cared for, 2nd owner, great sounding, must be seen to be appreciated, 997 Turbo S.

Car Crazy

LOL - Thanks for adding some humor to my day.

Bxstr

Haha, we basically see the same thing then when we go through car ads.

John Belk

Love the post!!! So true!!!

Here's one:

"Very Rare Color!!!!!!, 1 of 7 Pinebark-Brown Cars!!!!!." Yea, because "everyone" wants a Pinebark-Brown sports car! Not. JB

Dennis C

Hey! What's wrong with brown 911s??

John Belk

Brown can be a Beautiful color!!! It was just some silly sarcasm.. 😂 Car colors are like politics and religion... bet to not bring it up. Heck, I would own any of the below. Cheers, JB

Dennis C

I did own the third one pictured there! My 991 is my second brown Turbo.

I'm with you though; it's not for everybody.

earossi

Recently saw stats that point out that fully 50% of Porsches are black or some black "derivative". 25% of all Porsches are silver......in its various shades. That leaves just 25% of the cars on the road that are blue, brown, red, green, or white. There is definitely a "herd mentality" when it comes to the colors of these cars.

Dennis C

If you throw in gray and white, it makes up over 90% of Porsches sold. Red and blue are next on the list, followed by yellow. Colors like green, brown, gold, etc. make up less than 1% of Porsche sales.