Toby Pennycuff

You boys here on the 993 board are defintely cleaning up! Must admit, the US humor is beating on the UK humour for the time being.

930 interloper

Edward

The alleged problems with the 1996-7 Check Engine Light/Clogged Air Passages were simply vicious rumors spread by owners of 1995 993s who suffered the wiring harness problem.

Edward

The alleged problems with the 1995 Wiring Harness were simply vicious rumors spread by owners of 1996-7 993s who suffered Check Engine Light/Clogged Air Passage problems.

OldGuy

I am not making this up, but in retrospect I thought it was funny.
My inlaws are here and I thought it would be nice to give them a ride
in my new 97TT. My inlaws are devout Methodists and I have never
heard either one use a cuss word in my 20 years with my wife. So Sunday
I thought it would be nice to give Granma and Granpa a ride in the new
sled. Grandpa took it well and smiled alot. Grandma on the other hand
was not ready for what was to confront her. When I got to the county line
I dropped the clutch and accelerated from a standing stop to 120mph
on a deserted desert road out here in about a heartbeat. My mother-in-law
turned white and yelped " Holy fu@k! Slow this Goddamn car down and let
me out or you'll never see my fu@king daughter again!!NOW!!"
Luckily I did not register what she said until I shifted from 4th to 5th.
But I was able to digest what she said so I hit the big reds as hard as
I could and got anothter "Holy fu@kin'moly!!" Generally I am not
taken aback by this kind of literature given I work for the Navy. But
Grandma?? Now that is a scary thought! the whole 20 years I have
been married to my wife and I was clueless my mother in law was
a sailor!!Anyway this was true story and I thought it was quite
humorous. The remaining trip was quite silent and Mom has not
said much to me since. But hey thats a good thing!

chris walrod

So this is what I have to do? I dont have a TT, but maybe I can get the mother-in-law to take lap with me at the next DE or autox....

Cool story!

Jim

Halloween Haiku:

Contest was declared
“Drove” chatter erupts early on
Fright comes to all boards


OR...

Porsche announces full FACTORY ALMS support for the 2004 series, campaigning the Carrera GT in the GTS class and 997 in GT, Both classes will be piloted by the the mAd sKilZ of driver gEt-O rAceR FraNk in all cars, made possible by the newly-patented Schwarzenegger cloning process.

Flying Finn

Porsche will never, race (full factory effort) at Le Mans.

What makes that very scary to me is that I actually believe this is true.
My hope was lost last time when they announced "the delay" excuse again.

ApexL8

I started a group buy for racing radiators and got seven takers!

Sloth

Porsche announces merger...

Porsche AG has anounced that it has reached an agreement and will join the ranks of the Ford owned Premier Auto Group (PAG). PAG includes high end marques like Jaguar, Volvo, Land Rover, and Aston Martin. Porsche spokesmans says that this merger will help Porsche AG deliver to the customer what they really want... a front engine v8 powered 911 that will be based on the all new 2004 Mustang.

Sloth

Defining moments in automotive history.

Porsche AG board of directors meeting, circa 1962...

"Jah, ve vill put ze engine here!"


Read that somewhere and can not take credit.

mtopp

Now that merger post is scary Sloth

Terry Adams

2010: Porsche introduces the 999, their first hybrid. To meet ever more stringent US emissions and other requirements, the car's 90 bhp gas engine will run on 83 grade gasoline. The car will ride on 295/80/20 wheels inflated at 48F/50R, and has bumpers at the new 40" mandated height to line up with SUV bumper heights. Having wrung every decibel out of the exhaust, Porsche called on Robin to develop an RSR baffle box for the remaining annoying whine of the electric motor. Declared Porsche chairman Wenceslas WeDaKing, "At least we solved the 60/40 weight distribution problem with 300 pounds of lead/acid batteries in the front." Porsche's racing department avowed they face tough competition from Honda and Toyota.

Rezal

Citreon, Renault, Audi, and Porsche form a jv to build a car designed by same person who did the Cayenne featuring a throttle-by-wire based on the early 80s US Audis and driving dynamics of Citreon and Renault. The new JV will be called C.R.A.P. ag.

In other news, the V6 Cayenne became the first non-person to qualify for the HWFMR team membership. According to HWFMR spokesperson, "The fact that no driver in the world, inc. Schuey, could make the V6 Cayenne go any faster than our mascot turtle, meant that we had to include it as an 'honorary' non-human member of the team!" Leaked rumors, however, revealed that the H2 Hummer and Yugo were close contenders but disqualified since Porsche affiliation was required.

John W

HWFMR enter a team in the 2004 LeMans - and win !!

Cheers,
John.
(been a while since I've posted on here. Glad to see you are all still doing well)

C4TT

Now I adore the 993, and will own a turbo at some point but, I find this rather comical:

During the early 1990s, in order to boost slumping sales, Stutgart hired some Japanese Engineers to "refreshen" the Porsche brand...

THE RESULT WAS THE 993!