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Old 05-22-2012, 02:06 PM
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Oli928
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Default You know you're a 928 owner if...

This is just for fun everyone ...let me know if I offended anyone and I will edit post.

You know you're a 928 owner if....

You can replace your heater control valve blindfolded

You know what part number 928-574-573-03-M53 is (for those who don’t yet, see previous statement)

The easiest/quickest way to get rid of that befuddled look that a new acquaintance has when you mention you have a Porsche 928 is, asking them if they remember the movie “Risky Business” with Tom Cruise (then you cross your fingers that you don’t have to cringe when they say, “Is that the movie where the car chase scene has Booger from Revenge of the Nerds in the back seat”?)

You keep 2-4 #53 relays, 1 LH relay and an assortment of fuses inside a sandwich bag in your glove compartment

You don’t have to search the forums to find out why your speeds 1-3 quit on your fan control and only position 4 works…you instantly know and are actually trying to remember where in your garage you stashed your back-up blower motor resistor pack

It doesn’t bother you that some posts/replies on Rennlist don’t have a last name included when referencing a 928 parts-goodies supplier/problem solver… examples; John, Roger, Tony, Veronique, Jeanie, Carl, Rich, Paul, Hans, Louis, Bill, etc…sorry if I left out anyone.

You’ve ever argued with your spouse to name your son Ferdinand, Ferry or Fuhrmann…then settled to use Ferdinand as his middle name

A magical weekend getaway to you would be to tour the hallowed grounds of Zuffenhausen

You’ve enlisted the help of a 5-7 year old (because of their small hands) to work on your 928…especially when putting back the “anti-slim-jim” metal covering when replacing the outer door handle piece that breaks at the most inopportune time.

You nearly passed out the first time you heard how much a replacement radiator costs

You’ve spent a lazy afternoon or two, listening to 928 exhaust clips on YouTube…and/or 928 burn-out vids

You nearly have the same level of excitement viewing finished project images on Paul’s site as you used to have viewing “adult” images

When you see a group photo of Porsches at a meet on any site or in any magazine, you instantly try to find/count the 928’s in the photo…can usually be done on one hand

Your meaning of “rare sighting” doesn’t involve UFO’s and such…a rare sighting to you is spotting another 928 on the road

You’ve ever spent 3-4 hours each weekday evening researching a 928 issue on Rennlist and spending the entire weekend fixing the issue…all to avoid going to the local Porsche repair place (if you are even lucky to have one) and having to admit to it…Ohhh, and you saved $200 they would have charged you.

If you are at a Porsche event and you hear the word “pig” whispered anywhere around you, them are fight’n words…especially if the guy saying it has a sweater tied around his neck

When you meet with fellow 928 club members at the local Hooters, you spend more time looking and talking about your cars than about the waitresses

If the final question to you on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” was, “What car model was SOLD between 1977 and 1995?” you’d be a millionaire!…plus proud because, only about .0003% of the population could answer that question correctly

You’ve ever spent 20 minutes typing your new post question “key words” in the forum search bar (6 different ways) and read 10-15 threads, just to avoid the Newbie-Walk-of-Shame because within 3 nano seconds of you hitting the “submit” button, a Rennlister replies to your post with 2-3 links to a similar thread. (Wouldn’t it be ironic if my post already had been done with similar material and I didn’t find it in my searches?)

You had to take a quick crash course on wheels/off-sets/tires on forums to figure out the meanest wheels/tires that will fit your 928 without expensive spacers and fender rolling…only to find out you have fewer choices than a guy who owns a 1965 Peugeot

You ever tried to fix an idle issue by spraying LDS or WD-40 in the tube leading to the ICV

You can’t point to your state capital on an un-marked map, but you can point to the 12 ground points on your 928

You can’t easily remember your spouse’s birthday, but you know the exact model number of your spark plugs and approximately when they need to be changed again

You still have trouble remembering what BTW, IMO and such stand for, but you know what TBF, WSM, MAF, LH, RMB, etc. stand for immediately

You only turned on the radio 3 times in the first 45 days after your first exhaust alteration from stock (usually the install of the RMB)

You spend more time turning on the kick down bypass switch than you do your radio

You’ve ever spent 5 minutes trying to stabilize a button cover, wire and 2 watch batteries on top of a wiggly spring, while trying to close your lighted key cover after you converted it to LED

If your Avatar or any password contains the word/s: 928 or shark

You can’t remember your anniversary, but you know the next time you need to check your flex plate and when to replace your timing belt

You had to research if the arrow was correctly positioned on your air filter the first time you replaced it

You’ve ever wondered whose bright idea it was to locate the ICV under the intake

You have a hush of momentary (mental) silence for appreciation/admiration/respect if John Speake gives advice in one of your posts

You don’t even bother anymore to see if the local car parts chain store has a basic part in stock…you just order it from one of the big four

You know who the big four are…

You take your own new oil filter to the quick lube place, because you know they won’t have one in stock

You realize you can’t forward this “post” to anyone that doesn’t have a 928…they just won’t get it

You have at least 5GB of stuff in your computer in a folder named “928”…or similar…and you are going to save a PDF of this post (below) in it because so many things ring true

You know you are a 928 owner if....pdf

****************************************

Please add to this post, I'm sure I forgot many other items

Last edited by Oli928; 05-22-2012 at 06:43 PM.
Old 05-22-2012, 02:16 PM
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Th Dude
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I see your illness runs deep. Good stuff.
Old 05-22-2012, 02:23 PM
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Bilal928S4
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I closely resemble those remarks.
Old 05-22-2012, 02:31 PM
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Koenig-Specials 928
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You convince your spouse to save up money not to go on a trip but to fix the car. Hey, therapy is what makes you feel better.
Old 05-22-2012, 02:39 PM
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dcrasta
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If you know what this is and have used it on your car..



You might be a 928 owner...
Old 05-22-2012, 02:45 PM
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You know which way to point the arrow on your center cap crest for your wheels....

You know what the red dot is for on one of your wheel studs, and you have actually re-colored it in bright Red Testors paint or a dab of red caliper paint while re-painting your calipers......
Old 05-22-2012, 02:51 PM
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bronto
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Your friends laugh at you when you say that your upholstery is available again in a Mini Cooper.
Old 05-22-2012, 02:53 PM
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GuardsRedHammerhead
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You know you are a 928 owner when you call to order a part, and complain to the person on the other end of the line that a set of plug wires should never cost that much and they say..."Yeah, but that is part of the fun of owning a 928, and you knew that when you bought it."
Old 05-22-2012, 03:22 PM
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Fogey1
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Originally Posted by dcrasta
If you know what this is and have used it on your car..



You might be a 928 owner...

I guess I've just been lucky. What is that thing?

And I know I'm a 928 owner because I wish my commute were from Study Butte to Alpine.
Old 05-22-2012, 03:27 PM
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dcrasta
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Originally Posted by Fogey1
I guess I've just been lucky. What is that thing?

And I know I'm a 928 owner because I wish my commute were from Study Butte to Alpine.
This is what I used to remove the broken wheel nuts from my car. When I got it, each wheel had at least 2 broken wheel nuts, and the hole saw cuts the nut without destroying the lug or the wheel (if you use it carefully). Required about 6 of them, 3 cans of PB blaster, and I burned up 2 harbor freight drills (exchanged).

Fun first week of ownership.. (I learned about silver anti-seize and using a torque wrench on my lugs that day, but I didnt break any lugs or damage the wheels).
Old 05-22-2012, 04:20 PM
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NoVector
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… you can cite Renlist thread title and post on which oil is best and can rattle off numbers for zinc parts per million that would rival a Shell chemical engineer.

… you highlight Jim Bailey's text in red when using it in a quote and refer to it as the “King James” edition.
Old 05-22-2012, 05:54 PM
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85euro928
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You successfully convince your wife that your first vaction away without the kids should be an 800 mile drive (one way) to SITM
Old 05-22-2012, 06:21 PM
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GuardsRedHammerhead
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Originally Posted by 85euro928
You successfully convince your wife that your first vaction away without the kids should be an 800 mile drive (one way) to SITM
Apparently you do not have a car fanatic, 12 year old boy who thinks that 928's are the greatest thing since Cheerleaders. My son threatened a hunger strike when he found out that the wife and I were thinking of leaving him and his brothers with grandma and going to SITM without them. Wife has no interest in hairy men with "ugly" sports cars in the mountains of North Carolina, and she is bowing out. It will be me and the boy this year. And, that is fine with me.
Old 05-22-2012, 06:59 PM
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Oli928
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Originally Posted by Th Dude
I see your illness runs deep. Good stuff.
The sad(?) part is, I've only owned my 928 a tad over 2 years...but I did get some schooling at "Insanity High" during my 944 ownership years.

I may need "professional" help someday....
Old 05-22-2012, 07:16 PM
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Five-8
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...you know that you are a "card-carrying" member of the "only $10-$15k away from having a nice $5k car"...and you actually are ok with that.

Cheers,

Adrian


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