Christopher Zach

Repair list (any repair)

Step 1: Pull engine
.....

(yes, even to change the oil, it's probably easier to pull the engine)

Crumpler

Assemble in reverse.

Jason89s4

"Its an easy fix, but In order to get to the <insert part here> you first have to remove the <insert part here>, then the <insert part here> and then move the <insert part here> to the side."

Bigfoot928

"all the engine parts are in the trunk, and they are good. you just need to put it together."

Tom. M

The A/C just needs a recharge :-)

GregBBRD

I about split a gut laughing at this.

This is the best, so far.

The Forgotten On

Just needs a fuel pump.

linderpat

Pascha! (with seats that look like they were ripped to threads by a mountain lion and faded into oblivion)

Petza914

There's the winner right there. Didn't everything run when it was parked.

SRaouf

"requires minor recommissioning"

SwayBar

Check which relay??

Bulvot

If we're quoting things sellers say, the list is endless

Something that I heard announced over the loudspeaker at an autocross while I was on the course was "And that, folks, is what two 944 engines put together sounds like".

928cs

My favorite, also.

monkez

"Should take an afternoon to fix..."

I've seen this one often enough to make me feel insecure about my wrenching skills...

ammonman

"Should be a simple fix, if you are handy with a wrench...."